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90 Second Beer Chiller

Posted in Kitchen Gadgets by Conner Flynn on December 3rd, 2009

90 Second Beer ChillerSo you want a nice cold beer, but all you have is warm. Well, there’s no need to pop them in the fridge and wait forever for them to get cold. The solution? A simple box with some ice in it that rotates your beer,getting it ice cold quick. Just 90 seconds apparently.

Sure, it’s work, but isn’t a cold beer worth it? It will cost you $15. And don’t think that you can just stick your beer in a bucket of ice and get the same result. Obviously the magic here is in the rotating. This is beer science. Don’t question it.

Beer Pager helps you find your lost beer

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on August 26th, 2009

Beer Pager helps you find your lost beerLost beer is a serious problem. The longer it remains lost, the warmer it gets and the less drunk you are. Plus, the drunker you get, the easier it is to lose your beer. This here Beer Pager will let you know where your beer is at all times and will emit a belching sound from up to 60 feet away through walls.

The Beer Pager is available now for just under $20 and will stop beer loss in it’s tracks. Because as long as you have beer, everything is right with the world.

Arkeg: An arcade game with a keg built in

Posted in Games by Conner Flynn on August 17th, 2009

Arkeg: An arcade game with a keg built inWhat are the two greatest things ever? Games and booze that’s what. What you are looking at is man’s best friend and I’m not talking about a dog. The Arkeg is an arcade game with a keg built in. It holds a 5-gallon keg and a PC that comes pre-loaded with 104 classic games.

Drink up my friends until up is down and down is up on that joystick. You’ll be blitzed by the light of a 24-inch screen, with a 2.1 sound system and a powered sub, along with two arcade controllers and a trackball.

Loaded Dice get you loaded

Posted in Games by Conner Flynn on August 12th, 2009

Loaded Dice get you loadedListen up frat boys and alcoholics. There’s a new game in town that aims to get you nice and plastered. It’s one part dice game and one part alcohol and goes by the appropriate name, Loaded Dice. The game is simple to play.

Just fill the shot glass, slam it down, do whatever the die tells you to do. The drunker you get, the easier it is to play and the less you care about the rules. Who’s ready for a game? I’ll take on all of you.

World Globe Liquor Dispenser

Posted in Kitchen by Conner Flynn on August 2nd, 2009

World Globe Liquor DispenserWe all know that you can’t look important and worldly unless you have a globe sitting in your office. When that globe holds liqour, well, you the man. Start drinking in North America and don’t stop until until you’ve hit Antarctica.

No matter what latitude you are drinking at, you’re sure to impress your drinking friends. The world is yours and it’s filled with liquid spirits. That’s not the room spinning, it’s the Earth. Only $39.99. It may look huge, but it only measures 13” x 6½” and 4½” and holds 55oz. So what we really need is Jupiter. Oh yeah.

Beer in a pouch: How Astronauts get drunk

Posted in News by Conner Flynn on June 15th, 2009

Beer in a pouch: How Astronauts get drunkPresumably. I’ve never actually seen an Astronaut drink beer in space. But if they did, it would be in a pouch. It seems like a strange idea, but supposedly it tastes a whole lot better. No aluminum can taste for one. The CarboPouch by the Beverage Pouch Group is designed for those fancy artisan beermakers.

The idea is that they would fill you up a six pack to go on-site. This way smaller brewers don’t need to buy any cumbersome beer-filling assembly line machines to sell their buzz-juice.

Get your drink on with World of Warcraft Steins

Posted in Kitchen by Conner Flynn on February 26th, 2009

Get your drink on with World of Warcraft SteinsGetting ready for a long night of playing World of Warcraft? Do it right. Have some brew ready and pour it in these nerdgasmic World of Warcraft Steins. Your drunk will level up with every sip.

Plus, next time you are at one of your conventions, pull this out of your bag and impress some wizard ladies. All your geek friends will be envious. It might even score you some elf babe with a huge treasure chest. These fancy geek cups will cost you $89.99 to $174.99.

Beer Fund bank always has beer money

Posted in Toys by Conner Flynn on February 25th, 2009

Beer Fund bank, always has beer moneyThis electronic change counting bank makes sure that you always have money for beer. Because in these tough times, beer money too often goes toward other frivolous things like a “mortgage”, or a “college fund”. Make sure that doesn’t happen to your beer money by making daily deposits.

It will count and tally up your total savings, but sadly doesn’t translate that into number of beers saved. It also won’t convert the change into cash, so you’ll be known as “that guy who always pays in pennies”.

The Viking Horn Beer Bong

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on February 24th, 2009

The Viking Horn Beer BongDrink to your Viking Gods and celebrate life with this Viking Horn Beer Bong. Praise Odin as you take beer in through the horn and pass vomit out as you burn and pillage your liver.

It has multiple uses too. Are you one of those 70 year olds that still loves to party? Drink up then hold it to your ear so you can hear all the goings on around you. This product is begging to be endorsed by Flavor Flav and marketed with a Viking helmet.

Alcohol Shot Gun

Posted in Weapons by Conner Flynn on February 16th, 2009

Alcohol Shot GunThis Alcohol shot gun is light on design, but heavy on shooting alcohol into the mouths of others, or yourself. Great way to re-enact your favorite movies as you soak others with expensive alcohol.

Forget the fact that it doesn’t look threatening. Forget the fact that it resembles one of those cookie press guns. Just make someone drink up with extreme prejudice. Nothing on price or availability, but once the folks at UrbanTrend put their booze guns down and sober up, maybe they’ll let us know.

Shots Gun Drink Dispenser makes you the new Sheriff in town

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on December 7th, 2008

Shots Gun Drink DispenserThere’s a new sheriff in town, and he’s serving up booze. The Shots Gun Drink Dispenser will only cost you about $22 and it even comes with a holster. It’s a gun that shoots booze. What could be better? It will let you impress your friends as you shoot up some drinks and shoot off your mouth. Though it may be a small weapon, it packs a powerful punch.

I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots, or…only five? Do you feel lucky punk? Do ya? Then have another drink. It will fit on any bottle of liquor. Simply put the holster on your bottle, begin pumping the pump-action lever and you’ll be shooting more rounds then Ron Jeremy during production hours.

Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you are

Posted in iPhone by Conner Flynn on November 17th, 2008

Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you areThe Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you are, because you are probably way too far gone to judge for yourself. It determines this using your weight and how many drinks you’ve had already. It also calculates your drunkenness by what type of alcoholic beverages you’ve consumed, and it will even offer advice on what to do next now that you’re three sheets to the wind.

If you’re too blitzed to drive, you can press a button and it will call a taxi for you. Best of all, it’s free, which means more booze money. Now all you need is an app that shows how much of your liver is still healthy and calculates how much more drinking you can do until your final days.

Whiskey Bottle belt buckle puts it all up front

Posted in Apparel by Conner Flynn on July 3rd, 2008

Whiskey Bottle belt buckle puts it all up front
Stylish and perfect for any July 4th celebration. Walk into any BBQ wearing this baby and they know you’re all about getting plastered. After a few burgers and hot dogs of course.

It’s like you’re saying that there’s really no reason to hide your love of spirits any longer. And those around you will know that they’ll be cleaning up your vomit later. No need to risk your pants falling down when you go for a drink either since the whiskey bottle is removable. No doubt there will be other reasons your pants will fall to your ankles. It’s available for $19.50. Make the most of it, they won’t be inviting you again.

Super SideBar dispenses booze quickly

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on July 3rd, 2008

Super SideBar dispenses booze quickly
I’m not much of a drinker myself, but I can understand serious drinkers needing to get to their stash quickly and without delay in order to calm those shakes. Well you got it, my always intoxicated friend.

This thing here is like having a faucet full of happy water. In fact, it will dispense up to five different liquids just by touching of a button. Like I said, it’s for those who are serious drinkers with a price tag of $499. Really though, I don’t want to see you hittin’ the sauce in the AM using your kid’s juice glasses OK?