Personally, there’s only one piece of hardware I want riding down below, but unfortunately hardware in your undies may become the norm one day. All I ask is that they leave room for the main package I’m hauling and that they’re comfortable. For some unknown reason, Philips is looking to create a pair that monitors your blood pressure.

A recent patent application from the firm shows off a “wearable” system, but they do point out that “it is particularly suitable for implementation in a continuously wearable undergarment with integrated measuring sensors or electrodes, so as to be directly in contact with the subject’s skin.” You know, I’m not too sure about all of this. I mean, don’t outfit our drawers with something that’s going to stunt our growth. (Insert George Costanza “shrinkage” joke here)

RESPeRATE is an interactive breathing device that helps you control your blood pressure by lowering it to safe levels. It’s bio-feedback for breath control. No, you don’t need a mint. The idea is that if you are breathing properly your BP will go down. But not when you make the initial purchase at a price of $290. So from there it would have to go.

The device will automatically analyze your breathing pattern and create a personal melody for you, composed of two distinct inhale and exhale guiding tones, delivered through the earphones. Just listen to the melody and synchronize your breathing to the tones. By prolonging the exhalation tone it helps you slow your breathing and reach the “therapeutic zone” of less than 10 breaths per minute. So what does that do exactly? They say that the muscles around small blood vessels in your body will relax.