Dr. Who is one of the best shows ever. The Tardis is one of the best time machines ever. And blankets, they are the best thing ever for keeping cozy at night. And if you can’t have a real time machine, this is one way to get into one every night.

And everyone knows that if you have a Tardis, you have a companion in there with you. A female companion. Chicks just love an old Police box. So if you buy this, chances are that the girls will flock to your bed, each hoping to get into your Tardis and have some adventures. Yeah right. You’re sleeping alone buddy. But at least you will be nestled in your geek shroud.

The “Better Marriage Blanket” doesn’t save your marriage through communication or seeing a therapist. It does something much more important. It absorbs farts. And that will definitely save any marriage.

It uses “the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons,” so there’s nothing you can fart that will get through this thing. It will soak up any and all stenches being produced underneath. But seriously if your farts are so bad that you need this blanket, you should sleep outdoors and see a doctor immediately.

This is how the true Apple fanboy/girl sleeps. Why leave your precious iPod Touch every night when you can sleep with it. In it. It’s like you are part of the OS, all snug and cozy in your case.

You get the covers that look like an iPod touch and a matching pillow. Only $49. Does that mean you can’t get new blankets until they do a firmware upgrade? Me, I’d rather sleep in a Zune. I just need more space.

Winter is upon us my cold and chilly friends, so while you are huddled in front of the fireplace reading the ‘Brick, we offer up some info on Thanko’s latest gadget that will keep you warm. The USB Blanket.

The blanket comes with a built-in heater. Just connect it to a USB port, and it will heat up making all your dreams of warmth come true, leaving you toasty. As long as you don’t wander too far away from a USB port anyway.

While you will never get to the famous Donkey Kong kill screen with this quilt, it will keep you comfy on these winter nights. Unless you choose to hang it on your wall. It’s a faithful rendition of the classic game we all know and love. It measures 64 square inches and is made from 100% cotton.

Etsy seller CarolinaPatchworks did a great job. I would say that it’s pixel perfect. And isn’t it time you changed those Star Wars bedsheets? Of course, fine geek craftsmanship like this isn’t cheap. It will cost you $450. That’s 1800 quarters, in case you were wondering.

The Heatsheets Survival Blanket is for emergency situations, not for those who have a weird cocoon fetish. Anyway, I’m pretty sure you can’t eat your way out of it after metamorphosis. It fits two people and conveniently has survival and first-aid instructions printed directly on the blanket.

The bright orange color makes it easier for rescuers to spot, though with both people in it and moving around it would probably look like the blob from a helicopter. Hopefully they will want to investigate rather then call for an airstrike. Apparently it reflects up to 90% of radiated body heat so don’t be afraid to get a little frisky while waiting for help. Say, did it occur to anyone that you might have to leave the safety of the blanket to read some of those fancy first-aid instructions? That’s not good if you are in freezing conditions.

Being a kid is awesome. That’s why, even now I refuse to grow up. And one of the coolest things about being a kid is making blanket forts. This often involves tons of blankets and the tearing up of a livingroom while you create a skeletal structure for your fort which you can then cover with blankets.

Well, thanks to CrazyForts fort building just got easier AND more high-tech. It’s basically a series of balls and sticks that can be connected to create simple or elaborate structures. Then just cover it all up. Simply awesome.