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Beer-filled USB flash drive to break in case of emergency

Posted in USB Flash Drives by Conner Flynn on October 5th, 2008

Beer-filled USB flash drive to break in case of emergencyYou know, I don’t know what this says about us as a society, but for some reason this gadget truly exists. What we have here is an authentic beer-filled USB flash drive that even features 3D “optional customizable floating objects” inside. With this liquid storage device you can celebrate your love of beer by always having some with you.

And if things ever get too dry and you find yourself in need of a hit, I’m sure you could break it and get just enough booze to wet your beak. Though I wouldn’t recommend it, you don’t wanna choke on those “optional customizable floating objects”. Storage size ranges from 128 MB to 8GB. You might also want to be careful that you don’t crack it and feed your laptop beer.

DIY Heineken Draught Keg guitar amplifier

Posted in Musical Instruments by Conner Flynn on September 15th, 2008

DIY Heineken Draught Keg guitar amplifierYou’re rocking out on your guitar,(Your real guitar, not some pansy plastic video game job) and you’ve built up quite a thirst. Reaching for this Heineken won’t help. So reach for another and gulp it down. Finish with one long thirst-quenched sigh and get back to rocking. Rocking secure in the knowledge that this 20W Heineken Draught Keg Guitar Amplifier gives your sound the same kick to the liver that the alcohol does.

It sports a sleek design and a sound quality that will get you buzzed. Works great for Guitar, Bass, and MP3 players and plugs into a standard wall outlet. Complete with such modern innovations as a power switch and volume control.

Donkey Kong would love the USB Beer Barrel speaker

Posted in Speakers by Conner Flynn on August 11th, 2008

Donkey Kong would love the USB Beer Barrel speaker
If Donkey Kong were created today instead of hundreds of years ago, this is what Donkey Kong would throw at Mario. Since it’s a speaker, the Donkey Kong theme music could play right from the barrel as Mario jumps over it. But never mind the weird connections that my brain associates with certain gadgets.

This beer barrel thing is a portable speaker for your phone or laptop. For some reason. Very portable and a great accessory to bring with you when you travel, since it will fit in your suitcase easily. You can get it for $14.00 from Brando. If any Princess-napping apes are reading this, buy these and throw them at Mario. Because I’d really like to see that.

The Beer utility belt: For a different kind of hero

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on August 4th, 2008

The Beer utility belt: For a different kind of hero
It aint easy defending Gotham. And if super heroes existed in the real world, it would lead to some serious drinking. I mean these guys you’re doing battle with are demented. At the end of the night you just want a brew or four. This thing will hold a six-pack.

So after you park the batmobile and tuck Robin in, swap one utility belt for another and just forget your troubles. Alfred will wipe the drool from your chin and put you to bed after you pass out.

iBeer: Great taste, less filling

Posted in iPhone Accessories by Conner Flynn on July 20th, 2008

iBeer: Great taste, less filling
What’s better then the new iPhone? Two things actually: An iPhone from the future and a nice cold beer. Now you can combine your love of brew with your iPhone love thanks to this neat app that uses the iPhone’s tilt sensor to simulate you drinking it down as you raise it to your lips.

Just don’t lick your lips and slam it down on the table like a mug. You paid a lot for that thing. iBeer can be found at iTunes for $2.99. They also have iMilk for some reason. Check out a video below.

Budweiser beer bottle telephone

Posted in Telephones by Conner Flynn on July 4th, 2008

Budweiser beer bottle telephone
Alright, so this is only cool to those who are easily amused and you know who you are. If this was your new phone, then you’d have to call your friends and tell them, “Dude I’m calling from a Bud bottle.” And of course hilarity would ensue. The best part is if you ever have a brawl in your living room, you can hit somebody on the head with your phone and hopefully it won’t leave you holding only shards and the neck of the bottle. Dial the number, then knock that other drunk bastard out just as his mom answers and you tell her to pick his sorry ass up. Yeah this phone is made for drunken fun, frat parties, and of course it’s perfect white trash decor.

Bierstick: Chug one can per second

Posted in Kitchen by Conner Flynn on June 13th, 2008

Bierstick: Chug 1 can per second
The Bierstick is the way to go if you want to out-chug all of your friends. That, or baste a large turkey. It’s pretty simple to operate. Just fill it with 2 cans of your favorite brew, insert in mouth, and ram the other end against a wall. Now that’s $20 well spent.

They say that if you do it right, you’ll have chugged both beers in 2 seconds. Sounds kinda dangerous to me. Oh well, it will all come back up again in no time. I wonder which is faster, chugging with the Bierstick or puking it back up?

Snap Capp: Can on bottom, bottle on top

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on May 27th, 2008

Snap Capp: Can on bottom, bottle on top
In our attempt to never ever have flat soda again, humanity has come up with another way to keep your drink carbonated. The Snap Capp is a little less classy then the resealable can. It’s more like the mullet of the beverage world, all business on top where it’s keeping your drink fresh, with a party on the bottom.

It’s cheap, and it keeps your drink fresh with a lid. What more can you want out of life? Fits standard 12 or 16 ounce cans and comes in several colors. A pack of 3 with cost you $10.

Star Trek Enterprise bottle opener

Posted in Sci-Fi by Conner Flynn on April 22nd, 2008

Star Trek Enterprise bottle opener
Chances are if you have this Star Trek Enterprise bottle opener lying around your home, you probably don’t have many female friends coming over for sleepovers. I believe this particular Enterprise with the oval hole in the saucer section is inspired from that episode where Shatner’s ego blew a hole in the command deck. The same episode where Bones said, “Damnit Jim, I’m a doctor not a Tribble vet aboard a floating bottle opener.”

Obviously, if you’re a Trekkie that likes beer you’ll want to spend the $24 to open your beer with this tiny starship, get drunk, then have a toy to play with.

How to sneak beer past the illiterate

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on March 25th, 2008

How to sneak beer past the illiterate
You and I both know that “the man” has been trying to keep you separated from your brain numbing booze. He won’t let you take your precious juice into theaters, stadiums, preschools etc. How are you expected to get through the A.M.? Well now you can stick it to “the man”(Who everyone knows is illiterate) Now you can hide your beer cans in Canouflage, re-usable can wraps that make your Budweiser look like a Pepsi (Peski). The wraps cost $6 for 4.

You and your beer will never be apart again! Just act right! “The man” may not be able to read, but he knows a drunk ass fool when he sees one! Product Development really worked hard to come up with some convincing names too, like Peski, Sunkpiss and Mountain Spew.

Integrated Draught Beer Dispenser loves your fresh beer

Posted in Kitchen by Nino Marchetti on March 7th, 2008

beer-thing.jpgForget those six packs of cold beer growing old in your frig – get it instead fresh from the keg as you use the miracle of a dispenser to get your beer buzz on. Greet your professional installer with hugs as he wheels this Integrated Draught Beer Dispenser into your home.

The distributor of the Integrated Draught Beer Dispenser says this contraption is ready to dispense beer within five minutes of installation, with no need to chill a keg in advance. It is compatible with a variety of different size kegs and comes with its own CO2 canister so you have plenty of suds from the very beginning.