Starting in 2009 this automated baby stroller from 4Moms can be yours. Personally I think it’s a plot from Terminators in the future to nab John Connor in his infancy. Check out the video below to see it’s autonomous collapsing trick. It’s anybodies guess what happens when an unsuspecting mother hits the collapse button. It probably has a safety feature. Unless I’m right about Skynet getting into the stroller business. In that case it becomes a baby compactor.

On a practical note, it’s powered by a rechargeable generator. It gets more power with every 300 feet of movement. It’s also environmentally friendly, with the plastic being from 90% of recycled materials. It will cost you $650 and a very cranky baby if things go wrong.

We’ve seen some pretty weird bikes that want to keep the family traveling together, ever since the price of gas has gone crazy. The crazy Electric Bike Train comes to mind.

Well, here’s another idea. The Zigo bike has apparently taken dad from the equation all together, opting to put mom either behind or on the thing, while the kid or kids are in the danger zone up front known as the ChildPod. The ChildPod can be removed and transformed into a stroller lightning quick, and the Zigo can be used as a standard 2-wheeled bicycle once you attach the front wheel. It’s $995 worth of parts swapping with kids in tow.

Have you been out on the streets? Have you seen what the hell is going on? It’s like the 1950’s all over again. Damn kids with their souped up Hot Rods. But now the kids with their Hot Rods are like a year old! And with their moms! I’ve seen em on the sidewalk at intersections, on opposite sides of street, the mothers eyeing eachother just before they put the stroller to the concrete and race.

I’ve also seen random mommies running into one another on the same sidewalk, eyeing each other up as a third mommie(Usually a milf) happens by, and then the milf stands between the strollers and waves a scarf to start their little drag race. It usually ends with a stroller in flames and a cop car, as the other mothers flee.

Let’s see if I have this right. You pee on the stick same as usual… Then you plug it into your USB port like you let the potential daddy plug it into you… We really have to stop using the USB port for every damn thing people.

So when you plug it in you get all kinds of data about what’s in your urine, other then the fact that this is all highly unsanitory. Sure, any other home pregnancy test will let you know if you have a bun in the oven, but with this you can get fancy charts and graphs…from your pee. It will cost you $17.99 if it’s not a late April Fool’s joke.

Funny thing is, these MP3 players for infants actually look like teethers. I have one question. If you aren’t supposed to shake a baby due to it’s delicate brain, how is it good to crank up the tunes and give them their own MP3 player?

The SweetPea3 has 256MB of memory and is made for kids ages 0 to 8 years. They are calling it a “robust” music player that comes in pink or blue rubber. It lasts for about 40 hours on one AA battery. It also comes with music and stories from Susie Tallman and Jim Weiss. I don’t know who the hell that pair is, but now’s your chance to find out what their voices sound like mixed with potent baby saliva.