You thought the inflatable horse peripheral was a bad idea. That was before your kid could get a whole baby to use with their Wii. Every time I think that we have seen the height of weirdness in Wii-land, they drop something even weirder on us.

Bundled with the upcoming Wii game Baby and Me (in Australia), this doll-mote uses the Wiimote’s speaker to make the baby cry or laugh. You can even use the Wii Balance Board, which allows you to burp the baby, rock the baby and teach “her” to walk. (Which she will never learn because she’s just a doll with a Wiimote crammed in her insides.)

Ron Tajima must be the laziest dad ever. His newest Roomba project involved his son. Specifically putting his son on the contraption to be carried away like a robot sacrifice offered up to our metal masters.

He calls it the Cradloomba. Child Services calls it the “This requires a visit to your residence right now” bot. While I call it genius. Is there anything the Roomba can’t do? It’ll help you recognize that abusive relationship, gives free pet rides, now it will clean your floor and let junior floor surf at the same time.

Apparently somebody made this one of a kind set of baby slippers at Burning Man 2007, but we want to be able to buy these for real. If that seems wrong to you, then all you need do is have a look at the toddler mop. These are clearly a better way to get your floor clean using babies.

They’re creepy sure. But if you have a house full of rugrats and they see you wearing these babies, they’ll get the message real quick that they need to shape up, or else.

Why did I not think of this? With the Baby mop, having a baby means never having a dirty floor again. It’s brilliant! They call them rugrats because they are always crawling all over the floor anyway. Junior can make himself useful while he’s whining about that overflowing diaper. Put some elbow grease into it, give it a little drool for that extra shine.

It lets you get on with neglect while baby learns a work ethic. Child services may not like it, but I bet their floor is filthy. Too bad there’s no purchase information. Probably just a gag. Too bad, cause I think some swiffer pads on the opposite side would complete the suit.

Starting in 2009 this automated baby stroller from 4Moms can be yours. Personally I think it’s a plot from Terminators in the future to nab John Connor in his infancy. Check out the video below to see it’s autonomous collapsing trick. It’s anybodies guess what happens when an unsuspecting mother hits the collapse button. It probably has a safety feature. Unless I’m right about Skynet getting into the stroller business. In that case it becomes a baby compactor.

On a practical note, it’s powered by a rechargeable generator. It gets more power with every 300 feet of movement. It’s also environmentally friendly, with the plastic being from 90% of recycled materials. It will cost you $650 and a very cranky baby if things go wrong.

We’ve seen some pretty weird bikes that want to keep the family traveling together, ever since the price of gas has gone crazy. The crazy Electric Bike Train comes to mind.

Well, here’s another idea. The Zigo bike has apparently taken dad from the equation all together, opting to put mom either behind or on the thing, while the kid or kids are in the danger zone up front known as the ChildPod. The ChildPod can be removed and transformed into a stroller lightning quick, and the Zigo can be used as a standard 2-wheeled bicycle once you attach the front wheel. It’s $995 worth of parts swapping with kids in tow.

Have you been out on the streets? Have you seen what the hell is going on? It’s like the 1950’s all over again. Damn kids with their souped up Hot Rods. But now the kids with their Hot Rods are like a year old! And with their moms! I’ve seen em on the sidewalk at intersections, on opposite sides of street, the mothers eyeing eachother just before they put the stroller to the concrete and race.

I’ve also seen random mommies running into one another on the same sidewalk, eyeing each other up as a third mommie(Usually a milf) happens by, and then the milf stands between the strollers and waves a scarf to start their little drag race. It usually ends with a stroller in flames and a cop car, as the other mothers flee.

Let’s see if I have this right. You pee on the stick same as usual… Then you plug it into your USB port like you let the potential daddy plug it into you… We really have to stop using the USB port for every damn thing people.

So when you plug it in you get all kinds of data about what’s in your urine, other then the fact that this is all highly unsanitory. Sure, any other home pregnancy test will let you know if you have a bun in the oven, but with this you can get fancy charts and graphs…from your pee. It will cost you $17.99 if it’s not a late April Fool’s joke.

Funny thing is, these MP3 players for infants actually look like teethers. I have one question. If you aren’t supposed to shake a baby due to it’s delicate brain, how is it good to crank up the tunes and give them their own MP3 player?

The SweetPea3 has 256MB of memory and is made for kids ages 0 to 8 years. They are calling it a “robust” music player that comes in pink or blue rubber. It lasts for about 40 hours on one AA battery. It also comes with music and stories from Susie Tallman and Jim Weiss. I don’t know who the hell that pair is, but now’s your chance to find out what their voices sound like mixed with potent baby saliva.