Halloween is almost here and while we all have a healthy fear of witches,ghosts,monsters and zombies, it’s robots that we should really be afraid of. Robots are capable of killing every creature on that list and then turning on us.

That’s why I’m proposing that we phase out all of the old monster decorations and Jack-o-lantern faces and replace them with robots. If you don’t fear them now, you will wish you had feared them sooner one cool October night when a red-eyed robot TPs a house with your intestines.

Some clever person has rigged a huge flat screen TV under his bed, using a sliding and rotating mechanism that allows it slide under the bed when not in use and also pop out at the foot of your bed when you want to watch TV. Either that, or we have an authentic transformer on our hands. It’s got to be the coolest way ever to watch TV in bed. It’s so awesome that I dare say most wives can even be talked into incorporating this into the bed frame. Until you start ignoring her for your shows anyway.