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Zap aliens with the Alien Hunter Alarm Clock

Posted in Clocks by Conner Flynn on March 25th, 2010

I don’t care what kind of alien you are, if you wake me up, you’re getting zapped by a laser gun. Unless you’re one of those grey abducting bastards, in which case I’ll probably get anal-probed and forget the whole thing. But anyway, the Alien Hunter alarm clock is designed to make waking up a game.

That alien coming out of the gooey egg wakes you up and you shoot it dead. Can you imagine this going on every day? That’s how aliens are, they never stop. The Alien Hunter alarm clock is priced at just $19. You can get a lot of kills for that price.

Alien USB drive

Posted in USB Flash Drives by Conner Flynn on September 8th, 2009

Alien USB driveThis Alien USB Drive made by Etsy seller MikaEle is hand carved from wood. We love the detail, especially the realistic looking fangs. The USB connection slides in and out with the push of a button so you can display him when not in use.

It comes with 4GB of storage space. If you want it you better be quick, it’s one of a kind, which is why it’s priced at $155 over at MikaEle’s Shop on Etsy. Sure, that’s a lot of dough, but we’re talking an Alien head here.

Aliens to UK: We hate wind power, consider this a warning

Posted in News by Conner Flynn on January 13th, 2009

Aliens to UK: We hate wind power, consider this a warningSomething caused this wind turbine in the UK to break. It could have been any of a million things, all very rational. But residents of the village of Conisholme, in Lincolnshire are having none of that. They know that aliens did it. And they don’t need any stinkin’ Men In Black, Mulder & Scully, Leonard Nimoy, Agents from Majestic or Alien corpses to prove it.

They claim that they saw bright lights in the sky “like an octopus’ tentacles” right around the time that the blades were damaged. Others claim that the damage was the result of a “cow-sized ice chunk” and even a “robot stealth bomber” was blamed. According to The Guardian, the mysterious lights were most likely from fireworks being shot off for one of their 80 year old residents. But what are you going to believe, something rational, or stories about aliens in robot stealth bombers?

Alien tables by Pro Mech

Posted in Furniture by Conner Flynn on September 8th, 2008

Alien tables by Pro MechThis is the creepy sequel to our original article on Aliens furniture. When we first told you about this weird taxiderm from Ripley’s dreams, the pieces didn’t look so polished and it would appear that a different person or persons are making these.

It doesn’t make them any less creepy and most wives would kill you for decorating with something that looks so evil at night. Each piece is hand crafted from used car and bike parts, tools and other recycled metal objects, so each one is unique. The coffee table stands 32 inches high and is 27.5 inches in diameter and costs about $500. One can only hope that these creative people set their sights on making Terminators soon as well. That way the aliens will have something to fight.

Retro Space Invaders headphones

Posted in Headphones by Conner Flynn on June 19th, 2008

Retro Space Invaders headphones
Who doesn’t love Space Invaders? Answer: Those being invaded of course. Say you’re chillin’ in your room, by the gentle light of your Space Invaders lamp. Just outside your window, the moonlight gently illuminates their latest message to Earth. Soon the invasion will begin. But you don’t need to worry about that. Not after selling out your entire race. You will be spared and given your own island in the Bahamas.

What better way to drown out the sound of human extinction, then by donning a pair of retro Space Invaders headphones. They can be pre-ordered and will ship in mid-late October 2008 for $19.90. They’re free to traitors.

Doritos, now searching the cosmos for alien consumers

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 11th, 2008

Doritos, now searching the cosmos for alien consumers
In a joint project, the University of Leicester and Doritos have been working together to create and broadcast the first commercial aimed squarely at aliens. You know, because they might be looking for a different kinda chip after all several millenia of the same old junk.

Maverick Professor and crazy as a bag of chips, Darren Wright says that “everything is going as planned” and that it’s sure to be “an historical moment for it is the first time that we will broadcast a message to the space, far beyond our Solar System.” The target seems to be alien consumers located about 42 light years from the Earth, in an area that’s virgin territory for Cool Ranch and the mystery flavor gimmick known as “The Quest”. I’m sure they’re itching to corner the market in that sector of space before everyone from Coke to Pringles starts sending their own spam.

Alien tables: Not recommended for night time use

Posted in Furniture by Conner Flynn on June 10th, 2008

Alien Tables: Not recommended for night time use
These Alien tables are pretty awesome sculptural pieces. If Ripley went into the furniture business, this would naturally be the result. Who wouldn’t love to own one. Thing is, there’s no way this thing is in my house at night. Who wants to walk by this thing in the dark?

Interestingly, they’re hand crafted from recycled used car and bike parts, tools and other recycled metal, which makes every piece unique. They’ll cost you from about $300 to $4,450. They’re more than conversation pieces, they insure that your guests leave promptly after their business is concluded.

Are there little green men on Mars?

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on January 27th, 2008

Life on Mars?Does this photograph really prove that we are not alone in the universe? The internet has been buzzing about this photo beamed back from Mars. It may be just an odd shaped rock.

But I can’t help feeling like we are missing something obvious here…Hmmm.