Samsung’s new 750 series an 950 series will come in both 23 and 27 inch sizes with 1080p resolution, a two-millisecond response time, 1000:1 contrast ratio, D-sub, HDMI, DisplayPort, and DVI-DualLink connectivity.

You can also get them with a TV tuner and they will handle 3D for gaming, TV, films, and user-generated content. The hybrid 750s and all the 950s can do 2D-to-3D conversion from PCs, Blu-ray players, gaming consoles, and set-top boxes. Sadly we don’t yet have a price, but we do know that the line hits stores in March.

So, it’s time to upgrade from the Umbuster Umbrella as it’s only appropriate for breaking jaws in the rain. But what could deliver more destruction in a more compact package? Well, the Blast Knuckles will deliver a promised stun power of 950,000 volts. That’s enough to shock a cartoon soul right out of anybody and watch it play the harp all the way up to heaven.

If you use these, I would advise running like hell and changing your name as you will probably be charged with murder soon. Seriously, this is insane. Only use this in self defense and don’t zap yourself. Appropriately, the blast knuckles aren’t legal in all fifty states in the US, though you could probably still buy it for $50.