The folks at Sanrio never get tired of offering up new Hello Kitty items. I lost count at Two million and five. We really need to send a terminator back in time and take the kitty out once and for all. The latest is this Hello Kitty laptop, which is the Epson Endeavor NJ2100. The pearl white laptop comes in two varieties, one with Kitty flying an airplane and the other features Hello Kitty with flowers.

It’s powered by an Intel Celeron 540 at 1.86GHz, 1GB RAM, 80GB hard drive, DVD drive, Firewire, 3 in 1 memory card slot and a 15.4 inch WXGA screen with 1280 x 800 resolution. Of course, it comes preloaded with exclusive Hello Kitty wallpapers, screensavers and sounds. Sanrio is already taking orders for fans as the laptop goes on sale May 25 for $1470.

First of all, this thing looks like it needs a Hello Kitty face on it. It’s basically a pink and white torpedo for women to lay on top of and get touched inappropriately by it’s robot innards. Since it’s a robot, it won’t have to worry about sexual harassment. It’s got wheels too, so once you get your wife good and relaxed, you can just wheel her wherever the hell you want and go play the Wii.

It’s ridiculously expensive at $13,500, but what the hell, it’s got a huge pink visor and a touchscreen. It also “automatically adapts its speed and pressure to the body part it’s massaging,” and since you are laying out all that dough, they give you a built-in audio system too. If you ask me it looks like a futuristic hospital bed that’s only going to fit women on the very thin end of the scale. I guess the moral of the story is to quit eating three square meals at Mickey D’s for a month and only then will you be privileged enough to get a robot massage.

File this one under Strong Enough For A Man But Made For A Woman…We’ve seen the evil that is the Hello Kitty brand on almost everything. Here it is in it’s toughest manly form ever… On a power sander. Um, let me just say that if I hired a construction contractor and he showed up with Hello Kitty tools, my faith in the structural soundness of anything he built would go out the window.

Would such a man even be able to get employees? I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet that he’s got a pink laptop. In fact, the more I think about it, the more disturbed I am by such a man. Further proof that we aren’t exactly breeding any John Waynes these days.

How much power does one really need to toast a piece of bread? Philips seems to think the answer is a lot – 1200 watts to be exact – and wants to sell you its HD2618 toaster for around $120.

The pink angel of the apocalypse is at it again, still bent on world domination and bending young women to it’s will. But I have to say, if Hello Kitty is trying to win me over with the above pic, I’m nearly there, dorky belt and all. That’s because at first glance this device seems to rid well shaped women of their clothes, put a pink Wiimote in their hand and give her protective padding for the workout I have in mind. I’m obviously under the Kitty’s influence, so let’s move on.

This is the Hello Kitty Slender Shaper and claims to burn off fat from your midsection with a shaking action. And, as mentioned, comes with a Wiimote of sorts, so you can shake your groove thing faster or slower with just the push of a button. The entire package, with carrying case will cost about $127.52.

I’ve never been a big fan of the Peanuts gang myself, but apparently Epson is betting you are if this Laptop covered in Peanuts characters is any indication. Previously they offered us some Hello Kitty Laptops, so I guess they see the potential to branch out to other characters.

Make no mistake, this is not just a laptop with cartoon characters slapped on the case. It also comes loaded with Peanuts screensavers and wallpapers, icons and mouse pointers. The laptop itself features a 15 inch screen, a 1.73mhz Celeron processor, 1GB of ram, an 80GB hard drive, 4 USB ports, a CD burner / DVD drive, and it comes with Vista Home Premium. Obviously not all that awesome these days, but to a Snoopy lover, it just might be worth the outrageous price of $2,799.

What Hello Kitty fan’s kitchen would be complete without having a Hello Kitty toaster? Not only does this thing bring the annoyingly cute Hello Kitty brand into your home but the toast that’s created also bears the Hello Kitty face outlined in burned bread on one side of each and every piece.

As much as it pains us to say it, we actually have to admit that we like this image-burning toaster design better than others we’ve seen. The Pop Art toaster we saw last fall allows you to insert templates to burn different designs into your bread but only a small portion of the bread ever actually gets toasted. With this model from Hello Kitty the image is the only part that’s not toasted giving the desired result to the majority of the bread. How’s that for geeky logic?

Continuing the toy trend of products that teach our kids to be good little consumers, is this pink as usual Hello Kitty ATM bank. Proof that the Pink Nightmare (at least to us guys) known as Hello Kitty is alive and well and in no danger of facing extinction.

Don’t be confused. Yes, banks are supposed to help you save money. They probably shouldn’t teach you to blow it on Pink branded products. The bank comes with a “Hello Kitty cash card” so kids can practice the removal of money from an ATM.

That fuzzy brown square thing with the great white shark-like mouth is a character named Domo. Created by the marketing department of Japanese television station NHK back in 1998 to be their mascot, Domo became a viral phenomenon as internet users grafted the image as their forum icon.

Seeing their creation catch on to the zeitgeist, the TV station licensed out the rights and Domo products soon started appearing on Japanese store shelves. This fall a series of 26 two-minute short films featuring Domo and his cave-dwelling friends will begin appearing on Nicktoons suggesting that he’s about to really invade America’s cultural landscape.

There are two classifications of cute gadgets: the “Awwwww!” group and the “It’s Hello Kitty so it must be destroyed” group. We feel that United Pepper’s Lili and Oscar fall into the first category and so they should be allowed a place into our homes and hearts (but we will keep the flamethrower close by in case something Hello Kitty should surface.) Awwwww!

Lili is the five-legged octopus lass and Oscar is the starfish-shaped guy. Explained in practical terms, the deep sea dame is a funky designed 1.3-megapixel webcam with microphone while …

I’ve gone on the record before that I think Hello Kitty is just wrong. Today I bring you more proof that something evil is behind this Japanese sensation: the Hello Kitty Robot. Clocking in at 52 cm tall x 39 cm wide x 33.3 cm deep (including the tail…yes, there is a tail), the HKR will provide the love for your child that you can’t because you’re too busy working to pay off the robot’s $6,299 price tag. No, that’s not a typo: this thing costs a penny under $6,300.

It’s …

How cruel the irony of being in an emergency situation only to be saved by a Hello Kitty gadget. For Hello Kitty fans it probably couldn’t be any better, but many of the rest of us would probably rather take our chances.

This Hello Kitty electronic emergency kit contains a number of features that might actually help you out of a jam. With an apparent internal battery the device has an adapter to power your cell phone, LED flashlight, AM/FM radio, a wind-up hazard siren and of course a compass. It also has a connection …

Of all the rooms in your house that could suffer from a lack of Hello Kitty paraphernalia, you can rest assured that Hello Kitty can help it from being your bathroom. Tanita manufactures a wide range of quality scales and body composition monitors and it looks as if they’ve got a Hello Kitty branded version as well.

The Hello Kitty Body Fat Monitor (model BF-071-KT) shown here uses bioelectric impedance analysis when stepping onto the pads to measure what percentage of your body is made up of fat, and of …

Every time we turn around it seems Hello Kitty has something for everything. Adding to their broad list of Hello Kitty branded products is this Hello Kitty Mini Fridge. Not only is it able to keep things cool, but it can warm things up as well.

This mini fridge has six times the capacity of the USB mini fridge with the ability to hold six 12 ounce cans instead of just one. It draws its power from a standard electrical outlet or makes itself portable with a 12v cigarette lighter for the car. The …

How many Hello Kitty products are there? Have the brand’s owners moved into construction machinery, airplanes, satellites, adult novelty toys? Wait, we don’t want to know the answer to that last one.

Say hello to the Hello Kitty CD Karaoke System and Player. This pink and white piece of plastic that’s got more attitude than Paris Hilton drunk and panty-less will entertain sick-minded people for hours.

It’s got two microphones because, as we all know, Hello Kitty friends tend to hang out in groups. It’s got two three-inch speakers because, as we all know, speakers …