So, it’s time to upgrade from the Umbuster Umbrella as it’s only appropriate for breaking jaws in the rain. But what could deliver more destruction in a more compact package? Well, the Blast Knuckles will deliver a promised stun power of 950,000 volts. That’s enough to shock a cartoon soul right out of anybody and watch it play the harp all the way up to heaven.

If you use these, I would advise running like hell and changing your name as you will probably be charged with murder soon. Seriously, this is insane. Only use this in self defense and don’t zap yourself. Appropriately, the blast knuckles aren’t legal in all fifty states in the US, though you could probably still buy it for $50.

These days it’s hard for Ninja’s. First there’s extra security everywhere. Second, there are so many weapon choices available. How do you decide? Do you go with Wolverine claws? Or bust someone’s face with an umbrella? There’s always Dark Knight throwing knives.

Here’s another more practical option for the modern ninja. It’s a blowgun that doubles as a 3.5-inch knife. You can get yours, along with a “go straight to jail” card, for just $20. It pays for itself after your first kill.

These miniature gun rings won’t kill, but they may make your wedding vows a little more serious. Because when you and your spouse each have one of these, arguments end very quickly. While they would make interesting conversation pieces, I wouldn’t wear one to the airport. These rings come with tiny bullets that you can put in the chamber, which we hope is non-functional.

The gun is modeled after antique wild west revolvers and presumably would have been great for women on the frontier to protect themselves, as well as Mini-me. It’s a nicely crafted and tiny weapon.

Remember the Umbuster? That umbrella that keeps you dry and provides a handy pair of brass knuckles is actually available for sale now. It has gone from concept to actual product, making rainy nights far more dangerous around the world.

Feel free to now equate rain with pain my friends. Old man and woman crime against the young will soar. I actually fear rainstorms now. It will cost you $287 and may give rise to gangs of elderly bullies walking wet streets, swinging these things around like beat cops itchin’ for some action.

Check out this sweet Steampunk ray gun. It sports a pretty nice, not so over-the-top Steampunk look but still manages to have lots of nice detail. The “Power supply” consists of a vacuum tube and “brass bits” installed inside the gun. The smoky look of the vacuum tube makes it look as if it has just been fired.

There’s even detail inside of the barrel. The creator added some clockwork parts inside so that it looks like the delicate clockwork mechanism is focusing the particle beam. Nice! The end result is a nice looking Ray Gun suitable for any Sci-Fi adventure.

You’ll notice, I didn’t say stuffers. You won’t want to stuff a stocking with these, but rather chuck them until you stab the stocking, so that everyone knows that the Batman was there, making for a chilling and very creepy Christmas morning.

The Twin Bat Throwing Knife Set is made of solid 440 stainless steel that can probably slice and dice the flesh of anyone you gift them too. Two authentic bat shaped throwers are included as well a nylon case with belt loop. They’re cheap at only $9.99. “The stockings were hung by Batman with glee, when he threw some Bat knives that nearly hit me….”

How much would you pay to be able to slice and dice like Wolverine? $100? $80? How about $40? They may not be made from adamantium, but the three long knives/spikes measure 11 1/2″ long and are made from solid stainless steel. And since these won’t be coming out of your actual arm, you get a nice heavy metal looking wrist strap. Great for disemboweling enemies of all kinds. Just don’t get too carried away. Be like Wolverine, not Freddy Krueger. The so-called “Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet” is $40.

This portable toy blaster can pack and launch softball-sized snowballs, making you the new undisputed king of the snowball fight. It will give you “rapid, long-range assaults during neighborhood snowball confrontations.” Just place the snow in the forming chamber, close the lid, and you’ve got three perfectly spherical snowballs.

To shoot, place one snowball in the muzzle, aim the launcher, and pull back the slingshot mechanism. It’s powered by elastomers (Fancy talk for slingshot rubber?) and made of durable, cold-resistant plastic. You even get targets for shooting practice. Boy are your friends gonna hurt! The 50′ Snowball Launcher is available for $29.95.

It used to be that stun guns were so expensive that only the elite and law enforcement could enjoy them. Not anymore. Behold the Thunder Stun Gun. Now you can electrocute people for the price of a cheap meal. The Thunder Stun gun delivers 200,000 to 750,000 volts for just 13 dollars. Because you shouldn’t have to go broke to fry another human being’s innards. If the price tag was a shock to you, just imagine how your target is going to feel.

You need only two qualifications to own this nerd-gasmic Raygun. A love of Steampunk and some serious money to burn. The WETA Steampunk Raygun will cost you around $6,000. Dr Grordbort’s Rayguns are a line of 1:1 scale antique styled, limited edition(only 50 units), sci-fi hand weapon props. Above you can see “The Unnatural Selector”.

I’m not one to have weapons on display, but I’d proudly display this geektastic piece of eye-cady. See, this is what WETA is doing when they aren’t making big screen magic in Lord of the Rings. It’s made from metal, glass and rare Venusian Worm Oak. This my friends is some serious Steampunk. No really, this kicks the ass of every other Steampunk thing.

Check out this amazingly awesome rubber band gun based on the Konami PlayStation3 videogame Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The gun is of course made out of stainless steel and even includes a “precision laser pointer” to make sure you hit your target. The gun was designed by a Japanese fan who had a lot of time on his hands, rubber bands and mad skills with stainless steel. Is this heavy gun not a thing of beauty? Check out the video below to see it in action.

Whether you’re an off duty Ninja just staying out of the rain, or that guy from the Avengers, the Umbuster umbrella should keep you protected by giving you a pair of brass knuckles. Even though these aren’t brass. Instead you have a choice of wood or aluminum finish.

I’m not sure how easy it is to hit another guy with the bottom part of an umbrella while open though. Wouldn’t you hit yourself with the top part as you swung at your enemy? I would recommend this for little old ladies. They need to protect themselves, plus they just plain love hitting people with purses and stuff. You can get the Umbuster in October for about $330.

Obviously inspired by the flame throwing prowess of Pyro in the X-men, Everett Bradford designed a system that mounts on his wrist and propels fire when he moves his hand back. The flame is ignited through a fuel can at his waist.

It looks pretty awesome too and I bet he could impress Rogue and Storm enough to score, but it is potentially fatal should he spring a leak. You can tell that he is feeling the intense heat on his hand and cant run it too long. The combustion mechanism is complex and he has a second video for a detailed explanation, but I wouldn’t try this at home. Creating fake mutant powers could prove very dangerous. Cool, but dangerous.

Here’s the perfect watch for the time traveller. It will offer some protection will blending in with the American old west. If things get out of hand in the saloon, just make like you’re checking the time and fill somebody full of lead. That’s because the folks at time travel HQ have replaced the clock gears inside with a 3mm gun.

The hands don’t move, so just act like your watch is broken if anybody asks for the time. As far as the gun, it will most likely annoy rather then kill, but they’ll be so stunned that you shot them with your watch that you’ll be an instant badass and probably become the new sheriff.

Some things are just plain wrong and twisted. Like this knife. As soon as this WASP knife stabs you, it injects frozen gas into your guts that will expand and blow you up from the inside. It was originally designed to help hunters neutralize huge animals quickly, but it now turns out that humans could potentially be the animals neutralized.

British police are said to be on the lookout for this knife even though the website states that “the company does not condone killing of innocent creatures”. I think the moral of the story is this: If you see a knife run…If you see a knife with buttons, run like hell.