In the old days we used paper. But that is so last century. These days it’s all about fancy polymers. Spit Balls branded spit balls are tiny polymer beads that will grow up to 200X in your mouth and become extra sticky.

If you, like us, have been waiting for spit ball tech to explode, then you know how ecstatic we are that this day has arrived. 200X their original size. And super sticky-icky. See that Editors list on the left there? They will be targeted. No one will be spared.

A few years ago we covered the Marshmallow Blaster. Now the Elite Marshmallow Blaster is here. I’m not sure if they are trying to say that this is an actual improvement on the original or not, but they added the word Elite, so it must be better right?

The Executive Elite Marshmallow Blaster delivers a soft blow to your enemies. It’s a pump-action single shot weapon that fires standard marshmallows up to 40 feet and arrives in a briefcase.

If you’re a fan of God Of War, you won’t have to consult the God of Decorating to find something swell for your mantle. The blade is cast from zinc aluminum and sits on a handsome wooden stand so you can display your geekiness proudly.

Just FYI though, this is why you don’t get many friends over. It’s also why those few friends who come over are male. I’m just saying. But if you have to have it, this fake blade will cost you $124.

If you gals are looking for that ultimate accessory that’s fashionable and will keep you safe, look no further. The PeaceKeeper handbag will cost you $85. It will cost any attackers a broken jaw. It’s essentially a large pair of brass knuckles attached to a purse.

So when the creep appears in the alley, telling you to give him your purse, he’ll get it alright. If he manages to get away, just check the local hospital as this is sure to do some damage.

Meet the Apache. A triple threat weapon from a more civilized? age. What you get is a gun/brass knuckles/knife combo that will keep you safe on the streets circa 1870 - 1900. It’s absolutely brilliant and functions in a three step process when you encounter hooligans.

Step one. Shoot. If you miss and your attacker rushes you then move on to step two which is to hit him with the brass knuckles. Should one blow fail to stop your attacker and you find yourself wrestling about ala kirk from Star Trek, then it’s time for step three. Knife that sucker. Done. Thank god you had the Apache.

If you’ve always wanted to play Russian Roulette, but didn’t want to risk the impending suicide, you can now safely play the game using this Balloon Gun.

The Balloon gun has a pin built into one of the chambers. All you have to do is press the trigger and you have a one in six chance that the pin will pop the balloon. There are some benefits to playing Russian Roulette with this Baloon gun. No death, that’s a given. But also baloons are cheaper than ammo.

PSE will be releasing their TAC-15 crossbow next month. So hunting is about to get super serious. Zombies planning a night of terror need not even bother, since this baby will save the day. It mounts directly on a AR-15 rifle so you can swap between both weapons easily.

We aren’t sure why you would need a crossbow when you are already holding an AR-15, but hell, you can never have enough killing power. Maybe it’s for when you run out of ammo and desperately need to get that headshot.

We’ve featured some pretty badass weapons here at the ‘Brick. This one is maybe the most depressing gun we’ve ever seen. But tough economic times call for a special brand of gun I guess. Great for the Wall street dude or banker who has just lost a vast fortune and is too chicken to take the plunge off a skyscraper. Actually, their victims could probably appreciate this gun too.

It’s a one shot weapon made for one thing only. Suicide. It makes the revolver ring look tame in comparison as well as the almighty Blast Knuckles.

There’s a new stun gun in town. It’s name is the X12. It will stop you stone cold. The X12 stun gun was launched at the Global Security Asia 2009 event on Thursday and all kinds of law enforcement agencies want in. The X12 fires a jolt wirelessly through the air and can even cut through clothing to paralyze a perpetrator up to 88 feet away.

The product will be available in June, so criminals better shape up by then as geting hit with this thing doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun. Sure, they say “It can penetrate clothing and transmit electrical impulses, causing the body to be temporarily paralysed, unlike conventional stun guns which causes immobility by causing pain.” But our guess is it has to hurt to be effective.

It hurts just looking at this thing. If you actually have to face the Paintball Turret System on the paintball battlefield, you are in for a world of hurt. It outguns anything else you’ve got and I don’t think you’ll be able to get close enough to take the shooter out. Unless you’re crazy enough to run straight up to it and that’s not a good idea since it can shoot 34 balls a second. That is gonna hurt.

This paintball turret system can be configured as a wired or wireless platform and it’s even portable for quick backpack style deployments and can be controlled with heads up displays up to a half mile away. It’s a devious project. Only one who seeks paintball domination the world over would come up with such an invention.

This Alcohol shot gun is light on design, but heavy on shooting alcohol into the mouths of others, or yourself. Great way to re-enact your favorite movies as you soak others with expensive alcohol.

Forget the fact that it doesn’t look threatening. Forget the fact that it resembles one of those cookie press guns. Just make someone drink up with extreme prejudice. Nothing on price or availability, but once the folks at UrbanTrend put their booze guns down and sober up, maybe they’ll let us know.

The Gerber Kick Axe is not what you use to open Gerber baby food. It’s a more portable, foldable way of having an axe on you at all times, for things like: Chopping wood, terrorizing a camp while wearing a hockey mask, disposing of bodys, and more chopping wood.

A typical horror movie scene with the old school un-foldable axe goes something like this: Killer approaches victim(slowly) with a very obvious axe in one hand. Victim runs. Crappy music and a crappy chase follow, until he hacks he/her/they up. With the new and improved axe, that same scene goes like this: Killer approaches victim(slowly), with no obvious weapon in hand. He certainly doesn’t have an axe, because axes are long and obvious. Victim does not run. Killer smiles. Hey. Hi. What’s up? Killer unfolds his axe and get’s his victim. You see what happened there? This gadget/weapon has completely done away with the chase scene with the bad music and by doing so has cut every bad horror movie down to just 30 minutes. Awesome.

These are great for part-time Ninjas and Superheroes who don’t have a utility belt. The Pocket Grappling Hook is $27, the Micro Pocket Grappling Hook version is $22 and both are awesome. The Pocket Grappling Hook is a pocket size Hook(1″ x 5.5″) , with spikes that unscrew and are stored in the water resistant “o”-ring sealed body.

To use the Micro Grappling Hook just retrieve it from your pocket, unscrew the base to reveal the three tiny spikes, then thread them into their holes. Then it’s just recap and swing the hook toward the target. And you larger figured heroes needn’t worry. It’s been lab tested to hold more than 350 lbs. Anyway, I have never seen anybody that huge trying to throw a grapple and climb anything.

Some guy who couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be Obi-Wan Kenobi or Bruce Lee, finally opted for both and created these awesome Lightsaber Nunchucks. Sadly this bit of geek weaponry didn’t find us in time for Christmas, but you can make a pair have them all ready to go for next year.

At least your victim will be mesmerized by their glowing awesomeness before being knocked unconscious. Instead of seeing stars, they’ll hear rave music. You can check out a “how to” guide online and make your own.

Some crazy modders at ManaPotions have taken the relatively tame Vulcan EBF-25 and given it some backbone that is sure to make the nerds at Nerf nervous, transforming the relatively harmless foam dart gun into an honest to god chaingun.

After the hack, the weapon can fire about 500 rounds-per-minute. If you want one, the entire hack can be had in detail by clicking through. Be warned, the creators say that you’ll most likely fry the motor and melt a few components after you use it for a while. Awesome video below.