What the #%$$@ was the manufacturer thinking? There is no scenario in which this USB hub is even remotely normal on your desk. I guess if you like to torture cows by sticking flash drives in them, you might take a shine to it, but mostly it’s just wrong.

I guess it could have been worse. The cow could be standing and have a bunch of flash drives as udders. Maybe you have to coax them in so it looks like you’re milking the beast. Damn. I think I just gave them another idea. Seriously old Bessie here looks like she’s begging for a bullet to put her out of her misery. Poor thing.

Whether you plan on having a heavy or a light data flow, this tampon drive should have you covered. Just don’t send your boyfriend in the store to get this for you. It’s a real product.

Apparently a light flow means that you need the 1GB. I shudder to think what the 16GB model means. No info on pricing. Which is a shame, because I know you just can’t wait to buy one. I’m thinking that female spys have a new place to hide their secrets.

Following up on their CurrenKey ultraportable flash drives, Lacie has a new storage solution that will have you losing even more keys then you already do. This one takes the form factor of…keys.

These miniature microSD card readers offer 20MB/s read and 10MB/s write speeds. PassKey supports microSDHC cards, and both iamaKey and itsaKey are avaialable with 4GB or 8GB of built-in storage. It won’t start your car or get you into your home, but it may still scratch a lottery ticket and they are shock-proof and Windows ReadyBoost-compatible.

We’re big fans of Art Lebedev around here, so when we saw this USB hub jump off of the Dark Side of The Moon album cover, we knew A)the water cooler had been spiked or B) This was yet another awesome Art Lebedev original.

We aren’t sure what the deal is exactly, but it looks like it has some colored LEDS that make it look all prism-like. Hopefully it’s not just colored on the outside. Either way, it’s pretty awesome looking and makes us hear trippy tunes in our head.

So simple a solution, that it’s brilliant. Why we have never seen it before now, I have no idea. This mini-USB cable with an inline SD card reader from Brando combines the USB cable and the SD card. In doing so, it wins over our hearts, our minds and various other bodily orifices. The $12 cable will help you transfer files and photos from the SD card and will also assist you in charging your portable devices via USB.

Inserting an SD card will disable transfers from whichever device is hooked up to the mini-USB end to make way for SD card transfers, but the cable will keep charging the device. Once the card is removed, you’ll again be able to shuttle files between point A and point B.

This one is yet another useful gadget from the folks over at Thinkgeek. The Dual External USB SATA Drive Dock allows you to dock two SATA hard drives, either 2.5″ or 3.5″ HDD’s with your PC or MAC, via USB or eSATA.

Some specs: Connects to one or two 2.5″ or 3.5″ internal SATA hard drives, USB or eSATA connectivity, Plug and Play, Transfer rates up to 480Mbps with USB 2.0, Transfer rates up to 3Gb/s with eSATA. The device is available for $79.99.

You gotta love a Green USB stick man who can display his own decapitated head with a smile. What’s not to smile about? He’s fully posable and can bend himself into shapes that would have you in the hospital and your Yoga pants split in half.

The Green Man USB drive holds 2GB of data and basically amounts to a happy green head sticking out of your laptop, while the body is off doing whatever it’s doing. Probably humping your wiimote. It’s available for $31.

This 2GB thumb drive is encased in White Oak. It’s basically a Jenga game piece with tiny little Post-It Notes glued on. It may not look like much, but at least it combines two items that take up room on your desk into one device.

The only problem is that when the Post-It notes run out, you’re stuck with a wooden flash drive that somehow finds it’s way into the Jenga box to mingle with all the other pieces, only to be lost forever since no one plays that stupid game. The notes, being an odd size can’t be replaced easily. All for $30.

We like geek cakes ’round these parts, as evidenced by our not one, but two compilations of geek cakes. But if you want a custom cake from a bakery, you better be specific about what it is that you want. Otherwise you end up with cake fail.

So check out this funny incident. Some guy orders a custom cake and asked that a photo of a friend be integrated into the decoration. Simple enough right? So he delivers the photo as a .JPG on a Lexar Jumpdrive Trio flash drive. And look what ended up on the cake.

Looks like the good old nerd glasses are back. They never left really. Worn by the likes of Buddy Holly in years past and every other hipster in the present, nerd glasses are all the rage. Among nerds. Here they are in a new form. Beginning in March, this 2-mm thin 2GB USB bookmark can be purchased for $29.

Bullies might have to change their taunt of “Four eyes” to “Four eyes, two gigs”. These will likely fly off the virtual shelves as everyone loves nerdy stuff. But, a bookmark? Really? What the hell. You saw what dork specs did for Superman. They fooled everybody into thinking he and Clark Kent were different people. Of course there’s always the chance that people in Metropolis were just plain stupid too.

Meet Cyber Fox. You get to decapitate him every time you use your flash drive and shove his lifeless body into your laptop. It will serve as a good warning to all of those other cute and furry critters out there. Great for the dude with the anger problem. Might be therapeutic to use this thing whenever you get mad.

It would be pretty funny to see some guy get all agro and give a grunt as he rips this fox’s head off, flings it across the room and jams the body in the USB port. Just repeat, whenever you get mad. Sadly this fox doesn’t even look like the Firefox fox, or it might be cool.

April fools day will be here before you know it. Get prepared now and be ready when the day comes. This USB Keystroker is all about messing up your victim’s keyboard and mouse movements. Just hook this USB Keystroker into one of the USB ports of his or her computer and it will start randomly locking the CAPs button of the keyboard, making keystrokes and jiggling the mouse around the screen.

The poor sucker will think their computer is possessed. It also allows you to choose from three levels of speed for it’s phantom activities. It looks just like a flash drive. Just plug it into any USB port in the back of a computer, where it’s hardly noticeable. At only $13 it’s almost too much fun not to purchase.

Brando’s ingenious 7-in-1 USB Charging Cable is like a gadget charging orgy. It provides power for your PSP, DS, DS Lite, DSi and Game Boy Advance handhelds, and all it costs is a USB port and $7. Sure, this cable is a Brando product, and could possibly fry all of your well loved game handhelds, due to it’s questionable craftsmanship, but what is life without some risk.

At $7, what the hell. If it explodes, you’ll have some new parts for a future DIY project. I’ll put it to you, valued readers of the ‘Brick, would you trust Brando’s latest charging gadget with your handhelds?

Brando’s new USB Wireless Keypad is great if you’re looking for a wireless keypad for some serious number crunching. You’ll get the standard keypad keys, 13 hotkeys, and a neat uilt-in trackball. Sure, it’s no Optimus Aux, but it might come in handy if say, you plan on doing some serious calculations at Starbucks or on the bus. It’s yours for $37.

These weird little figures are called Poken. They let you exchange contact details with someone else in a physical way. With high fives. And hey, Poken are cute. Why the hell not? The USB device comes in four varieties: bee, alien, panda and flaming skeleton. Odd combination to be sure, but I’m assuming they all get along just swell.

Just put your Poken’s hand up to your buddy’s, then when you plug yours into a USB port later, your friend’s contacts will automatically sync to your Poken account, which propogates to Facebook, MySpace and other networks. I’m sure it will all work out fine, because surely everyone that you know also has a Poken. Which is a requirement.