This is not your grand dads Radio Flyer. Or your dad’s, or even the kind you tooled around in as a kid. This one is like a luxury cruise for lazy kids being pulled around by tired parents. The only added features that my own childhood Radio Flyer wagon had were wobbly wheels and rust. This concept however, called the Cloud 9, has an MP3 player and some other cool features.

You get a nice speaker system to go with that MP3 player, so you’ll probably be seeing little kids rocking out in no time. The kids can also strap themselves into one of the two bucket seats with a five-point racing harness. Not cool enough? How about a digital display panel with temperature readouts, odometer and speedometer? The Cloud 9 has cupholders too. For juice boxes and sippy cups.

Check out this video that celebrates Lego Miniman’s 30th anniversary. From Star Wars to disco to the fall of the Berlin wall, it’s a walk down memory lane that stimulates the geek pleasure centers of the brain.

Enjoy my geek friends. Enjoy. Unless you grew up with those Duplo blocks, in which case your parents are cheap beyond belief. You must be traumatized by all the cool stuff you missed.

The idea behind this gadget is that it’s never too early to teach kids the value of a dollar with a freaky fish banker. Every time your kid inserts a coin into the bank, a fish named Gill (haha) will reward your kid with an animation. Thing is, with Cartoon network available to your kid, I don’t think he’s gonna give a tuna what some gameboy-colored fish has to say.

Anyhow, the money they deposit is automatically counted and the total savings is displayed on screen. If that’s not enough, your kid will now be responsible for feeding old Gill and keeping his tank clean. Yeah right. It was nice knowing you Gill! This is gonna be either way too much fun or hardly any for $52. I call the latter.

Now ladies, I’m not saying that some of you can be hard to live with during that special time of the month when Aunt Flow comes to visit. I’m not saying you can get a little cranky and yell and curse at a man until he’s just a hollow shell of himself. I wouldn’t do that. Why, I didn’t even comment when that Wiimote sailed past my head and stuck into the drywall like a dagger in Mario-land. No, I’m not saying anything.

It’s the makers of the PMS Teddy Swear Bear that are saying it. It’s cute and pink and looks cuddly. Like you. That’s where the similarities end. Really. The bear has mood swings and says things like “I Will F$%$%!king destroy you”. So this bear obviously isn’t for kids. It will arrive in stores this November for $29.99. I’m not saying you can identify with her boiling red-hot rage. Now how did my clothes end up all over the front lawn?

Behold. This new 9,000-square-foot, 3-story spaceship is called “Second Solar” and it has just been constructed in the German city of Böblingen. It’s a real looker. It’s got “giant engines, a thermal shell to protect the crew and landing runners designed to cope with unknown surface conditions.” And it was designed for the children. It’s amazing what can happen when a nation that loves David Hasselhoff stops watching Knight Rider re-runs and thinks about the children.

It’s an interactive exhibit designed by Different Futures for the Sensapolis fun park. Inside you’ll find such things as a 3D theater, a lab, alien breeding ground, a medical center and a warp-core. Pay attention nations of the world. Especially you U.S.A. This is how you need to treat your kids. I propose we have one in each state. It’s too damn awesome for words.

We mean works as in it does stuff like move and light up. It doesn’t suck gas. Proving that with enough time, Lego pieces and will, you can make anything, some guy made an actual Lego V8 engine. It took 4 months to complete.

Which is probably why GM and Ford choose not to use Legos. Plus Lego cars are super heavy and hard to sit in. Plus next thing you know, you’d have Lego and Duplo monopolizing the car market and that wouldn’t be good. Still I suppose they could arrange for the outside of 50% of Lego cars to have the bricks facing inward and half facing outward so that when they crash, they have a 50/50 chance of either crashing or interlocking which should be safer.

This device looks like a Wiimote and an iPod collided at seaworld. It’s a toy that’s similar to the Tamogotchi toys, but in this case it features a fish in an aquarium that is displayed on the screen. Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to take care of it so that it survives. Your fish grows, but so does the world around it, giving you some interesting game options.

You can play using a dolphin or an angelfish and it even has three mini games you can play with your digital pet. If you love virtual fish, this device is good for all ages and may even teach kids how to care for a fish, though I doubt it. Keeping a real fish swimming takes more then button pushing.

Tired of creating masterpieces on your etch-a-sketch? Maybe you’ve thought about moving up to Lite-Brite art, but it wasn’t quite doing it for you. Well my friends, this is Lite-Brite on steroids, mixed with some ectstacy. It’s Bandai’s Luminodot. Essentially an updated Lite-Brite with over twice the resolution (resolution being pegs) of the original. Just like th original, you get several design templates with the kit. There’s even an online template generator that will render your very own designs to PDF.

The kit also gives you 1,600 pegs in twelve colors, which will fill about half the Luminodot’s 70 x 50, 3,500 peg display. Don’t worry, you can order more if your kid and your pets eat them. It has the typical LED backlighting you would expect, but interestingly it also features twenty-five preprogrammed animated sequences. Wait for it…. Currently it’s only available in Japan. Yeah I know. I hate typing that as much as you hate reading it. Check out a video below.

For those who enjoy thumb-wrestling, but feel that their pudgy digits lack the animation needed for true wrestling drama, you might want to hone your button mashing skills, because Arm Wrestle Mania will take your finger game to the next level. That level being somewhere above redneck and below barstool drunk, but still. This game may be the only way you ever beat someone at arm wrestling, so it’s well worth it.

Commence button mashing and the arm moves. Whoever taps the button quickest wins bragging rights and will have to defend their title with this $25 toy. Who will you be? Backwards hat trucker guy or clean cut 50′s hair dude?

Looking for a new desk toy with some attitude? These guys have plenty. Just look at these guys. You know that they would just walk up to you and kick you in the nuts for no reason at all. Then they wouldn’t even laugh. They’d just look at you all doubled over as if admiring their handiwork, nod and walk away. They’re known as KANFUBOI (Kung-Fu-Boy).

Just put them on your desktop, switch ‘em on, and watch the punches and kicks fly. A built-in sound sensor makes them punch unsuspecting victims. Seriously, watch the video below. These guys aren’t messing around. They will kick and punch the crap out of you and your co-workers will be too intimidated to stop them. In the end you’ll be crying under your desk like a girl and mumbling warnings about no more imports from Japan. They are only available in Japan for $18 each.

Pump this Rocket Iron Man until it reaches maximum power, then hit the launch button, it will soar up to 40 feet. At 40 feet, the glide ejects and flies back to Earth, while Rocket Iron Man falls back to Earth like, well like an Iron Man. That makes this toy kinda pointless, but hey you can shoot Iron Man up in the air and that alone makes it worth $35. Just pretend Tony Stark had a few too many drinks as he plummets head first into the dirt.

So you’re tired of being the Dark Nerd and want to try your hand at being the Dark Knight. You’ve got your replica bat armor and you’re using an old beat up tool shed for a batcave. But you need a key ring for the keys to the Batmobile. You know, that old dodge dart you painted black.

Well, just hang your keys on this. It will project the Bat-Signal whenever you need it. Only $16. You probably should get a new hobby as I’m pretty sure your city doesn’t need a new crime fighter. You’ll end up locked up in Arkham Asylum and eventually become some other dudes villain.

These things are just plain creepy and wrong, but if you’re looking for a toy that resembles a mutated alien baby these are for you. They’re called Genpets and they were created by the demented mind of Adam Brandejs.

They’re the “Only Bioengineered Buddy. Available in 7 different personality types”. Each personality type is linked to it’s respective color, and that color is represented on each package. Continuing with the creepy and wrong factor, each package has a built in heart monitor that is fully functional, with green LED lights and a built in speaker. I guess that way you’ll know if your Genpet has a bad ticker. Each package also has a “fresh gauge” consisting of four blue LED lights displaying the status of the Genpet’s freshness. Check out the video below to be creeped out by the horrible sounds that they make.

Many a kid has played with their slot car race track and watched as their racer zipped through the curves and straightaways only to be dislodged and careen off the track. It never gets old even as we age. It’s just that when you grow up, you need a bigger track. And in this case 8 whole lanes of fun.

This thing is no joke either. It’s not some cheap plastic toy. Instead it’s quality made, going so far as to prevent power-supply faults and even car-derailing bumps, which leaves you free to enjoy the race. All you have to do is clear the necessary real estate and invite a bunch of friends over. It beats playing this slot car game.

I guess it isn’t easy being a Japanese geek. Not that it’s easy being an American geek, but the Japanese have so much more cool stuff to tempt them out of their savings. That’s why Takara Tomy has made a new kind of piggy bank. One with an RPG game built into it. It’s called Bank Quest.

Not very original, but appropriate. You can buy weapons and armor for your character from the savings you place inside the bank. Where have I seen this before. Oh right, it was called an arcade, where you put your money in played. Except you get to keep the money with this bank. Improve the graphics and gameplay, you might just have a bunch of gamers saving their money for once.