When you’re part of the evil Empire, you have to conquer worlds. Street by street if you have to. There’s at least one street somewhere, where they made a mockery of the Empire almost as badly as the Ewoks did. Maybe even worse. That AT-AT must have had a long shameful walk home.

This Hasbro Star Wars vehicle was customized by Graffiti artists EASE and JK5 under the direction of SUCKADELIC. It’s done in the Aurebesh language, a fictional letter system created for the 6 Star Wars films. It’s being auctioned off at Christies, so you probably can’t afford it.

The force works for all kinds of things. Everything from shooting a laser into the Death Star to lifting an X-wing out of a Dagobah swamp. But apparently, it won’t help you catch fish. That’s what this Star Wars fishing gear is for.

The fishing rod has a lightsaber handle(of course), and you can get a themed tackle box to go along with it. How about a Darth Vader fun net? That’s not a very tough product for Vader. One bit of advice, if you catch Jar-Jar, throw him back immediately. That guy is annoying as hell. Clumsy too.

Lucas long ago figured out that a geek and his money soon part ways when you make things look like R2-D2. This one is perhaps dorkier then most, because what we have here amounts to a remote control lightsaber, which you use to send your remote webcam wheeling to and fro in order to capture footage of your immediate area. For the price of £299.00 what you get is a basic VGA resolution camera in droids clothing.

The lightsaber has light and sound effects from the films and the stand connects to your USB port so that R2 can be controlled wirelessly. The webcam comes pre-loaded with R2 sound effects as well. For the price you figure they’d at least throw in a restraining bolt. Or some leg rockets…

Our favorite little Star Wars droid is like Rodney Dangerfield. He gets no respect. They make laundry baskets in his likeness, even soy sauce bottles. When will they give the droid some proper respect? Not today. Here is the latest R2 item. An ice bucket with Han Solo in Carbonite ice cubes. They managed to diss Han with this one as well.

Great for a geek BBQ. R2 can serve up the ice and Han can keep your drink cool. This will make you the head geek at any event. It’s available for pre-order for about $33. It may even distract Jabba enough so you can rescue the real Han in Carbonite.

We told you about the R2-D2 projector awhile back, but we had no idea that watching this droid in action was like watching robot porn. Check out the video here. I can not emphasize enough how awesome it is. It will make you wet your Wookie suit and sit in it for an hour!

This is a motorized, fully-articulated R2-D2 projector with built-in DVD, iPod dock, all kinds of digital media inputs, and Millennium Falcon remote control. It still costs $2,995, so you better scare up some funds if you want one and YOU DO want one.

Once again we see what happens when you combine geekery with the bakery. We told you about the Atari cake, and the R2-D2 cake. Behold the Death Star wedding cake.

I have to say that it takes a special kind of woman to get onboard with the idea of having any kind of geek cake at her wedding. And symbollically, it’s right on target. After all, many guys would consider marriage to be the final run down the Death Star trench as she shoots a pair of lasers down the hole, blowing your space station to hell.

Jedis aren’t real. Despite that fact, there are more lightsaber gadgets floating around the solar system then you can shake a… lightsaber at. These particular lightsabers won’t slice through flesh, but they will give you a sugar high that will have you bouncing off the walls like Yoda in a rubber room.

Hasbro’s Candy Lightsabers are based on the authentic movie weapons of Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker (red and blue). They’re filled with some sort of gooey, glittery, edible nastiness known as “Spliquid”, which comes in fruity flavors. If that dude who played Anakin in the prequels had sucked down a few of these, his acting would have been a lot less wooden and far more “I’ll kill you all with my candy lightsaber.”

This really happened…And not in a galaxy far far away, but in England… Jedi Master Hehol, a hairdresser, who founded the first British Jedi church was giving a TV interview for a documentary, when suddenly a drunk Darth Vader wearing a garbage bag appeared and kicked his ass not with a lightsaber, but with a metal crutch.

I guess that says alot about free speech in the Empire these days. The Jedi Master was no match for the Dark Lord of the Sith and after Vader took care of the Jedi geek, he attacked the TV crew and a hairdresser.

Join the dork side with these life-size R2-D2 & C-3PO replicas from Sideshow collectibles. I get it. It can be lonely being a Star Wars fan. I mean, you’ve got all your merchandise around you. Posters, movies, all those action figures still in the bubble. But life sized friends in your life? Sideshow Collectibles can help. Both of these droids are available for pre-order and they’ll ship sometime in the third quarter of this year.

Spending $5,950 for a life-size C-3PO, and $5,450 for R2-D2 will make you feel like you are actually part of the saga. Both figures are made from fiberglass and have lights and sounds powered by a set of AA batteries. Plus, they each come with their own display base and magnetically attached restraining bolt to make sure they stay your droid slaves. If you want to pre-order either one you’ll need a $950, non-refundable deposit. That’s probably peanuts compared to the money you’ve spent so far on your collection.

This thing looks like a Stormtrooper that displeased Darth Vader and got stomped on with the Force. It’s actually part of the official Star Wars Golf gear. That’s right, now you can proclaim your love for a galaxy far far away on the Golf course. Does this product belong in the rejected Star Wars pile? You be the judge.

You have a choice of Stormtrooper white or Darth Vader black. They’re made in Japan and apparently the quality is good. They should go on sale soon for about $500. With this gear AND the Force, you will rule the green. But always be on the lookout for Ewoks, the deadliest enemy the Empire has ever known.(And not bad golfers themselves.)

Remember when we showed you the rejected Star Wars items in February? Well here’s 12 more items of questionable quality and to add to the list.

With all the Star Wars items on the market today, this has to be pretty bad, tacky and just out there stuff, to have been rejected right? How about Bantha slippers? Some seem fine, if a bit odd, like Galactic Foosball or the Death Star dart board. My favorite is the Galactic Big Game trophies. Nothing says geek like the heads of various Star Wars beasts on the wall. Pictures galore below.

Our favorite droid from the Star Wars saga has had more products built in his likeness then there are stars in the solar system. Chalk up another. The R2-D2 home telephone wants to take up space in your geek home and heart.

One of the legs unhooks as a standard handset. Features include head spinning and flashing lights when a call comes in (or at the push of a button if you want to impress your friends), ring selection (which can be standard, animation or R2-D2 noises), last number redial and volume control. It retails for £79.99.

This is probably the coolest case mod I’ve ever seen. Surprisingly, it beats the R2-D2 cake for R2 related geek stuff I want. There doesn’t seem to be any real information about how the guy made it or what he used, but I’m assuming he is part Jawa and just scavenged parts as he roamed across the desert, bartering with moisture farmers.

There’s a ton of nice attention to detail and I don’t see any restraining bolt, so maybe this thing can roam around his house. Of course, if you had an R2 unit, you would need to childproof all the electrical outlets, so he isn’t having sex with them while you’re at work. I bet he isn’t even lonely without C-3PO at all. Goldenrod is a prissy droid, with an overactive mouth. Where as R2 is a true geek’s droid companion.

Star Wars fans can finally pre-order this highly anticipated R2-D2 Video Projector. The 1/2 scale repro will be a limited edition, with only 4000 units of the DVD reader projector being made. The droid is also iPod compatible, users can play the files on their players or connect the projector to a game console using an integrated dock. It even comes with a Millennium Falcon remote control which seems kind of weird.

The R2 Video Projector will retail for 2799 euros. If you have that kind of dough, you better beat a path through the sand and beat the Jawa Sandcrawlers that are sure to be hunting these out.

An R2-D2 cake that barely even looks like a cake? My fingers crave to dig into it’s dome head as I partake of it’s droid goodness by the heaping handful. Pastry chef Mark Randazzo of Mark Joseph Cakes sculpted this amazing treat. Note to George Lucas, let this guy cater any Lucasfilm events from now on.

It is 100% edible. As you can see, there is some amazing detail on this cake. R2 cakes are nothing new of course, but this one is an absolute masterpiece. I just asked my wife why her cakes don’t look like that and I immediately got a wiimote to the balls. Careful with the Wii everyone, seems injuries really can happen.