We all know that you can’t look important and worldly unless you have a globe sitting in your office. When that globe holds liqour, well, you the man. Start drinking in North America and don’t stop until until you’ve hit Antarctica.

No matter what latitude you are drinking at, you’re sure to impress your drinking friends. The world is yours and it’s filled with liquid spirits. That’s not the room spinning, it’s the Earth. Only $39.99. It may look huge, but it only measures 13” x 6½” and 4½” and holds 55oz. So what we really need is Jupiter. Oh yeah.

Round eggs are boring. Why eat eggs the way nature intended, when you can pervert nature and make them square? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of boring round eggs. Besides, hard boiled eggs can roll off the damn table. That’s disaster waiting to happen. Avoid that with square eggs.

Square baby. That’s where it’s at. Just put a warm peeled hard boiled egg in the egg cuber with the base plate flat on the bottom. Place the forming plate on top of egg, then screw the top down until the egg turns square.

They’ve come to steal our juice. Guard the stores. Defend the vending machines. They can have Prune juice, but I will fight them to the death for the rest. The UFO Intergalactic Juicer UFO Juicer is available in three colors. Pink, lime green, and navy blue, each with their own design on the spacecraft.

The juicer has a plastic filter with cut out shapes for straining the pulp, because even aliens don’t like pulp. The saucer separates for easy cleaning and has a bottom hole for the juice to drain out. I want it to be known right now that if I catch any alien scum stealing Snapple, I’m popping a cap in his intergalactic ass. Not on my watch man.

Dinner parties are great and all, but you don’t often have a hand free if you’re drinking and devouring some hors d’oeuvres and appetizers. That’s where Mantara comes in. It’s a great solution for keeping one of your hands free.

It has a groove to hold your wine glass, a place to secure the spoon/fork and the dish holds the appropriate proportion of food. Keep it all in one hand so you have one free to point and laugh at those who do not have a hand free. It’s like the Go plate, but for snooty types.

It’s no wonder that we didn’t come up with the first anti-stab knife here in the states. We have more than enough guns to kill whomever we choose. But in the UK, gun laws are a little stricter. That means more stabbings using the common kitchen knife. But now the first anti-stab knife is ready for sale there.

The designer says that the knife will cut vegetables, but will supposedly make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will also reduce the risk of accidental injuries.

If you fancy yourself a MacGuyver in the kitchen, then the Swissarmius is a must have. It tells everyone who enters your kitchen that you are serious about whipping up some grub and you have the tools to prove it. It’s a cutlery holder that is also a replica of the traditional Swiss Army Knife.

It’s also a perfect storage solution that has everything. Swissarmius comes with four compartments to make sure your kitchen is organized. The only downside is that all of the utensils don’t fold inside the case neatly like the real-deal.

Homer understands you. He also has the desire to drink heavily. And like you, he prefers beer, so that when confronted with a bottle of wine, he has no idea how to open it. Well, now the two of you can team up and open bottles together.

The Homer Simpson corkscrew looks just like homer. His arms will hold the bottle snug while you twist his bald head to insert the corkscrew. After that it’s just lift the bottle and drink. Glasses are for suckers. Like Flanders.

If you have a love of gelatinous desserts, it’s perfectly understandable if you find the usual shapes boring. Someone needs to shake up the world of gelatin and add a sense of adventure, suspense and danger. Something undead perhaps.

As usual, Think Geek has come through with this cool little crawling zombie torso gelatin mold. It’s made from high impact food-grade styrene, so is not dishwasher safe, but if you take good care of it, it can be your little zombie factory.

Microwaves are boring. They all look alike. They’re just plain, boring boxes that magically heat your food. There is no iPhone of microwaves. But if you want to spice up that bland food box, help has now arrived in the form of Microwave Stickers.

They come in a variety of patterns and make it seem like you have a cool new appliance. When you get sick of it, just put a fresh sticker on top of the old one. I for one want nothing more in life than to have some fish swimming on my microwave.

What kind of a world are we living in where we make gadgets for people who are too lazy to shake/stir? If this Non-Shaking Cocktail Cyclone had existed and was widely used years ago, the movie Cocktail would have been completely different and completely boring.

Just press a button and the cyclone action begins. This baby will hold 16 Ounces and runs on 2 AAA batteries. It’s just one of a bunch of gadgets that make us so lazy that in the future, human arms will de-volve into T-rex type baby arms.

Another gadget goes portable. This one is for a real good cause. Getting your caffeinated. The Mypressi Twist is the first truly portable espresso machine. It features a pneumatic engine that does it’s thing with the help of CO2 cartridges.

You can get up to 8 cups of freshly brewed espresso all in this little gadget. All you need to do is have the hot water and coffee ready. Coffee addicts can get the Mypressi Twist for $129 when it arrives in the states this fall.

I remember my mom and my grandmother both had big recipe collections that they kept on 3 x 5 index cards. When it came time to cook dinner for a special occasion they would go to the box and pull out something to make that was usually good.

Today’s moms and grandmothers don’t have to mess with a big box of index cards for their recipes with digital alternatives available. A new device from Key Ingredient has been unveiled called the Demy digital recipe reader.

The Cherry chomper supposedly provides a safe, quick and easy way to pit cherries, but this little guy looks entirely too happy about his job. Like he’s waiting to take a bite out of your finger. A “plunger design action pushes pit and residual juice into the bottom container”.

This little guy has chomped more cherries than Fabio after a book/I can’t believe it’s not butter signing. Yeah, it says the protective ‘tooth’ ensures that hands and fingers stay safely out of the way, but I’m not buying it, because teeth can fall out.

Boiling an egg doesn’t take any special skills. It’s a pretty mundane task. That must be why this BeepEgg device wants to entertain you while it boils eggs. In a cold and callus way I might add. It plays a few selected songs that will alert you to the egg’s hardness. Songs like “Killing Me Softly”. Poor eggs never get any respect. Everyone’s always making yolks.

That’s the song for soft boiled, a few others denote medium and hard. If you need to shut the thing up, just drop it into some cold water. If torturing eggs is your thing, the BeepEgg will cost you £15.

Soup nazis are no longer safe thanks to SOUPER. Soup crimes bounce off it’s shiny metal head. He’s capable of scooping big spoonfuls of Alphabets from your soup, then standing or sitting triumphantly. Did someone say “No soup for you!”? SOUPER says screw that jazz.

Eat up Junior. Safe in the knowledge that truth, justice and soup are all protected. Just don’t mix this guy up with your other action figures, then take him to your friend’s house. They will think your family is poor and laugh at you.