The grater is an essential kitchen tool. But there are so many essential kitchen tools, that putting them all away and keeping the kitchen neat can be hard. Graters have always been a problem. Their squarish form is great for food prep, but not for storage in the cabinet.

Well, that just changed thanks to this Fold Flat Kitchen Grater from Joseph Joseph. It does what it says and folds flat for easy storage. There’s even a grip handle on the side for grating over food. The Fold Flat Grater features coarse stainless steel blades and is dishwasher safe.

This one is a win/win. You can’t go wrong with Legos and cookies. Lego cookies are awesome because theoretically you could build with the cookies and then eat your creation with a nice cup of milk. Assuming that it works of course.

According to one review, “the dough sticks to the cutter and is nearly impossible to get it off without ruining the shape”. But that’s what a little flour is for. Anyway, if it works, this is an awesome product for kids and adults alike.

Keep your drinks cold the Easter Island way, with ice cubes shaped like the statues of Easter island. It will be as if your drink is the Pacific ocean and the statues have fallen in, keeping everything chill.

There are no better ice cubes for tropical drinks. And if any of you know Leonard Nimoy, I suggest you put these in his drink and pretend you are watching In Search Of… as he blathers on about how Bill Shatner is hard to work with and how he enjoys Earth’s various mysteries.

Drinking wine depends on wine openers. How are you going to drink your sweet booze if you forget the wine opener? Well if you own the Waring Pro Cordless Wine Opener, it’s all good. This gizmo costs $45 and fetures a rubberized body with brushed stainless accents. Plus, it’s powered by a rechargeable NiMH battery pack, so it doesn’t need to be confined to just the kitchen.

You also get a rechargeable base unit, with removable foil cutter. It has you covered no matter how pickled your liver is, as it will open 80 natural corks on a single charge. If that isn’t enough then you are too drunk to care anyway.

Pancakes are tasty in the morning. But they are soooo hard to make. First you have to pour the batter in the pan, wait, flip it and wait some more before they hit your plate. Who has the time or skill for such difficult foods?

Thankfully, the ChefStack Automatic Pancake Machine will do all of the work for you. Pancakes are so difficult that clearly $3500 is well worth it. It will spew out perfect four-inch pancakes. 200 per hour in fact.

Slicing a pizza isn’t exactly rocket science. And yet, somehow, you are always left with a few slices that don’t quite match up in size. That’s fine if you’re eating your pizza alone, but if you’re sharing this can lead to bloodshed. Pizza is delicious after all.

This Equalizer Multi-Blade Rocker Pizza Cutter guarantees that each and every slice is equal. This way you can eat your pizza in peace without anyone complaining. There’s one problem. It costs between $190 and $250 depending on the size.

We all know that you can’t look important and worldly unless you have a globe sitting in your office. When that globe holds liqour, well, you the man. Start drinking in North America and don’t stop until until you’ve hit Antarctica.

No matter what latitude you are drinking at, you’re sure to impress your drinking friends. The world is yours and it’s filled with liquid spirits. That’s not the room spinning, it’s the Earth. Only $39.99. It may look huge, but it only measures 13” x 6½” and 4½” and holds 55oz. So what we really need is Jupiter. Oh yeah.

Round eggs are boring. Why eat eggs the way nature intended, when you can pervert nature and make them square? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of boring round eggs. Besides, hard boiled eggs can roll off the damn table. That’s disaster waiting to happen. Avoid that with square eggs.

Square baby. That’s where it’s at. Just put a warm peeled hard boiled egg in the egg cuber with the base plate flat on the bottom. Place the forming plate on top of egg, then screw the top down until the egg turns square.

They’ve come to steal our juice. Guard the stores. Defend the vending machines. They can have Prune juice, but I will fight them to the death for the rest. The UFO Intergalactic Juicer UFO Juicer is available in three colors. Pink, lime green, and navy blue, each with their own design on the spacecraft.

The juicer has a plastic filter with cut out shapes for straining the pulp, because even aliens don’t like pulp. The saucer separates for easy cleaning and has a bottom hole for the juice to drain out. I want it to be known right now that if I catch any alien scum stealing Snapple, I’m popping a cap in his intergalactic ass. Not on my watch man.

Dinner parties are great and all, but you don’t often have a hand free if you’re drinking and devouring some hors d’oeuvres and appetizers. That’s where Mantara comes in. It’s a great solution for keeping one of your hands free.

It has a groove to hold your wine glass, a place to secure the spoon/fork and the dish holds the appropriate proportion of food. Keep it all in one hand so you have one free to point and laugh at those who do not have a hand free. It’s like the Go plate, but for snooty types.

It’s no wonder that we didn’t come up with the first anti-stab knife here in the states. We have more than enough guns to kill whomever we choose. But in the UK, gun laws are a little stricter. That means more stabbings using the common kitchen knife. But now the first anti-stab knife is ready for sale there.

The designer says that the knife will cut vegetables, but will supposedly make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will also reduce the risk of accidental injuries.

If you fancy yourself a MacGuyver in the kitchen, then the Swissarmius is a must have. It tells everyone who enters your kitchen that you are serious about whipping up some grub and you have the tools to prove it. It’s a cutlery holder that is also a replica of the traditional Swiss Army Knife.

It’s also a perfect storage solution that has everything. Swissarmius comes with four compartments to make sure your kitchen is organized. The only downside is that all of the utensils don’t fold inside the case neatly like the real-deal.

Homer understands you. He also has the desire to drink heavily. And like you, he prefers beer, so that when confronted with a bottle of wine, he has no idea how to open it. Well, now the two of you can team up and open bottles together.

The Homer Simpson corkscrew looks just like homer. His arms will hold the bottle snug while you twist his bald head to insert the corkscrew. After that it’s just lift the bottle and drink. Glasses are for suckers. Like Flanders.

If you have a love of gelatinous desserts, it’s perfectly understandable if you find the usual shapes boring. Someone needs to shake up the world of gelatin and add a sense of adventure, suspense and danger. Something undead perhaps.

As usual, Think Geek has come through with this cool little crawling zombie torso gelatin mold. It’s made from high impact food-grade styrene, so is not dishwasher safe, but if you take good care of it, it can be your little zombie factory.

Microwaves are boring. They all look alike. They’re just plain, boring boxes that magically heat your food. There is no iPhone of microwaves. But if you want to spice up that bland food box, help has now arrived in the form of Microwave Stickers.

They come in a variety of patterns and make it seem like you have a cool new appliance. When you get sick of it, just put a fresh sticker on top of the old one. I for one want nothing more in life than to have some fish swimming on my microwave.