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Archive for Humor

George Lucas frozen in carbonite

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on July 23rd, 2008

George Lucas frozen in carbonite
All I can say is that it’s about time. If I could have frozen him myself I would have. This is the man who gave us Ewoks. And for twenty some years that was the least of his crimes. He became public enemy number one when the Star Wars prequels arrived, giving us such intelligent and top notch creatures as Jar-Jar and the wooden acting of a young Mannequin Skywalker. He finally explained the force, which was some BS about midichlorians that are like little tiny atoms that can infiltrate the womb and create life instead of some cool mysterious force.

He basically threw the story of the original trilogy out the window and now he will pay for all eternity, frozen in carbonite. Oh yes, I want this on my wall so I can gloat like Jabba and laugh at him. And let this be a lesson to other directors who want to serve us up some crap instead of quality and well thought out stories. I imagine Spielberg can always dress up as Leia and rescue him while I sleep, but that’s what the Rancor and the Sarlacc pit are for.

Augmented Reality Cyber Maid Alice for lonely nerds

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on July 20th, 2008

Augmented Reality Cyber Maid Alice for lonely nerds
Humanity has accomplished some amazing things by combining virtual reality with plain ole reality. This is not one of those things. This is something designed to give randy nerds a few cheap thrills. The idea is that if you can’t find a girlfriend, Alice will take a shot at being the object of your affections.

It’s called “Dennou Figure ARis”, or “Cyber Figure Alice” in plain English. Buyers get the AR software, 2 cybersticks and 2 cybercubes. Place one of the cubes in front of the computer, point your webcam at it and the screen will display a 3D image of Alice standing on top of the cube. Here’s where your cybersticks come in handy. You’ll use them to touch, caress, fondle and peep at your new lady. Fear not, you can of course even undress Alice and change her clothes.

Jedi Gym hopes to replace Wii-Fit workout for geeks

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on July 6th, 2008


The Jedi Gym will help you live out your Star Wars fantasies and shed pounds. In this video you’ll meet Master Flynn(No relation I swear) and watch as he uses the force to motivate out of shape nerds dressed like Lando, Leia, Stormtroopers etc. One of the things we learn here is that there are no 300 pound Stormtroopers. Another is that Lando has really let himself go. When Vader drops by, things heat up.

Domino’s Pizza now delivers to Gotham city

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on July 6th, 2008

Domino’s Pizza now delivers to Gotham city
Domino’s being the clever marketing whores that they are, are now braving crime-ridden streets and delivering to Gotham city. They even have a New Gotham City Pizza that comes in a special Gotham City Pizza Box, and is available for $9.99 through July 27. The special delivery box comes in four varieties that show off different parts of the Dark Knight’s costume: mask, arm gauntlets, chest emblem, and utility belt. The pizza itself has 50% more pepperoni than usual. Check out a video below of a delivery in action.

Ads for fictional geek companies

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on July 3rd, 2008

Ads for fictional geek companies
Let’s say you’re in charge of Cyberdyne systems. That means that you’re responsible for the killing of almost the entire human race by cyborgs. There’s no good way to spin that. Not really. That’s a hell of a tough job. And thankfully, someone has risen to the challenge. Ad firm Giant Ideas has created ads for Cyberdyne and a bunch of other fictional entities that nerds will recognize. Like the Tyrell Corporation, the Dharma Initiative, Yoyodyne Propulsion systems and more. It’s part of their Flicker account in a set called Geek Ad Wednesdays. Quite entertaining.

Imperial March, as performed by a 3.5-inch floppy drive

Posted in Humor by Reuben Drake on June 26th, 2008


This is pretty decent rendition of the “Imperial Death” March from Star Wars, played through a 3.5-inch floppy drive. We can’t find anything showing exactly how this was done, but we’d like to think they made some software to control the motor of this 3.5″ floppy so they are “playing” the different notes with their computer keyboard. I knew there was a reason to hang onto some of those drives; I could have had an entire orchestra!

Thanks Dale!

YouTube

iBaby born with Apple birthmark

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 16th, 2008

iBaby born with Apple birthmark
Mark of the beast or a light-side prophecy fulfilled? I guess that depends on your perspective. My guess is this kid is going to grow up and battle to take his rightful place at the head of the company. Apple will just laugh as the kid shows them his birthmark and claims that he’s on a mission from God. A bunch of biblical stuff will go down, some floods, a plague. That’s when they’ll learn he aint messing around and they’ll give him the job, ushering in a new era of Apple products. Why do you think Steve Jobs was looking so thin recently? He’s stressed. Scared. Not eating. He knows what’s coming.

Doritos, now searching the cosmos for alien consumers

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 11th, 2008

Doritos, now searching the cosmos for alien consumers
In a joint project, the University of Leicester and Doritos have been working together to create and broadcast the first commercial aimed squarely at aliens. You know, because they might be looking for a different kinda chip after all several millenia of the same old junk.

Maverick Professor and crazy as a bag of chips, Darren Wright says that “everything is going as planned” and that it’s sure to be “an historical moment for it is the first time that we will broadcast a message to the space, far beyond our Solar System.” The target seems to be alien consumers located about 42 light years from the Earth, in an area that’s virgin territory for Cool Ranch and the mystery flavor gimmick known as “The Quest”. I’m sure they’re itching to corner the market in that sector of space before everyone from Coke to Pringles starts sending their own spam.

Passive Aggressive vending machine

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 10th, 2008

Passive Aggressive vending machine
Everybody’s had one of those days where nothing seems to go your way, everyone seems like they’re against you and you just need to blow off some steam. Vent a bit of anger. But so many destructive things are frowned upon in our culture. How does one work out some frustration?

Artist Yarisa Kublitz has the answer. It’s a simple and elegant solution that keeps you out of trouble. Just use the Passive Aggressive Vending Machine that comes filled with fine China. If you need to release your anger, just feed it a coin, select the object you want to break and gravity will do the rest, breaking it into hundreds of pieces. There’s just something satisfying about breaking stuff. And hey, those people who work out their issues by actually putting things back together could get in on this too.

Four cellphones called at the same time, facing popcorn kernels

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 9th, 2008

Four cellphones called at the same time, facing popcorn kernels
Is it better to use a speaker phone and hands free devices instead of answering right next to your ear? Are four mobile phones capable of popping some popcorn kernels? Check out the videos below. Just imagine the kind of weapon 12 phones strapped together would be. Nah. It’s a clever fake. But fun to watch.

Mask Of Emotion: Never trust a robot head

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 8th, 2008

Mask Of Emotion: Never trust a robot head
In some sort of apocalyptic robot future, we may all be required to wear one of these to hide our identities. I call the name Mr. Roboto. It’s kind of like the emoticon version of the Micheal Myers mask, whether your just cold chillin’ at the park with your dog or stabbing somebody senselessly, it’s all creepy on the outside. It’s a research project from the Digital Media Design department at Hongik University in Korea.

The idea is to hide your facial expressions so people can’t see your emotions. Those around you won’t see your face, just the LEDs of death, that form emoticons. The default setting is no expression at all, but as you interact, the display will smile etc. Imagine a few people on your street wearing these while going about their daily business. Now imagine the entire street full of them. An entire town. I’m too creeped out to continue, but the point is that you WILL see a few with an axe or a machete.

Nerd glasses protect you from Bokito the Gorilla

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 2nd, 2008

Nerd glasses protect you from Bokito the Gorilla
It all started on May 18th when a gorilla named Bokito escaped from the Rotterdam Zoo. It was during his daring escape that the animal attacked a female visitor, because he didn’t much care for the way her shifty eyes looked at him. Humans in charge decided that the woman’s direct eye contact led to the attack, since gorillas aren’t down with that.

That’s when health insurance company FBTO stepped in and offered a solution that makes everyone look like a dork. They distributed over 2,000 nerd glasses. Now instead of gorilla attacks, everyone kicks everyone elses ass and wedgies are a dime a dozen. You’ll note that in the upper right Luke Skywalker is chillin’ with a smoke, while below, Moby looks pretty much unchanged.

RSStroom Reader: News on toilet paper

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on June 2nd, 2008

RSStroom Reader: News on toilet paper
This is one luxury that they forgot to add to the Souped-up John. It’s the perfect way to get the latest news, since most news is crappy news. It’s courtesy of Yi Tien Electronics, an innovator who saw the need for bathroom reading material and decided to fill it. They made a computer/printer/toilet fax that prints RSS headlines directly onto toilet paper. The device even calculates the user’s weight when they sit on the toilet seat, so it can taylor the news specifically to you. (I’m guessing a bunch of Wii Fit news)

Mysterious Firefox crop circle appears

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on May 29th, 2008

Mysterious Firefox crop circle appears
Some strange things are happening on this planet. Are we being visited by a superior intelligence? How can one possibly explain the mysterious images that have appeared recently? First there was the Firefox logo spotted in deep space. Then things started to hit closer to home. This ominous design appeared out of nowhere recently. Now we have the latest message pictured above. What does it all mean? My theory is that it’s an intelligence test sent by beings who are far superior to us.

Think about it. All intelligent creatures love Space Invaders, just as any intelligent creature would use Firefox over IE. I think we are safe as long as some drunk idiot in a field doesn’t send them a response by way of a Windows Vista logo. If that happens, we can kiss our gadget-lovin behinds goodbye.

Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne

Posted in Humor by Conner Flynn on May 28th, 2008

Souped Up John: The ultimate geek throne
The Souped Up John is the ultimate in geek bathroom luxury. The designer certainly wasn’t constipated when it came to throwing ideas into this john, but was certainly counting on your constipation to keep you in place long enough to use all of the various gadgetry.

It sports a television, TiVo, DVD, XBox, laptop, fridge and of course the toilet paper holder comes standard. Plus an iPod docking station. You also get some exercise pedals in front for when you really need to shake those bowels loose. The megaphone is there so others can cater to any needs not already provided for.