Unless you own an old bowler hat, umbrellas really don’t go with anything. They’re just not very stylish, unless you are one Mary Poppins. Unfortunately umbrellas are pretty necessary if you want to stay dry. But weather is unpredictable. You often don’t know when an umbrella is required.

That’s where this concept umbrella from Materious comes in handy. It has an LCD handle that indicates the weather status by displaying different colored lights. White lighting indicates a sunny day and blue light indicates light rains. A dark blue hue indicates heavy showers. It can do this because the hub that the umbrella rests on gets it’s info through WiFi. You’ll always know when you should bring your umbrella with you.

The T39 Replica Gas Pump Entertainment Center will take you straight back to the 1940’s and have you wiping off windshields and checking oil levels, while watching TV. It’s geared toward the dude that wants to spend nearly 2 grand on a entertainment center that has a maximum TV size of 13 inches.

It even has an illuminated globe on top to make it feel authentic. Despite it’s neat retro stylings and details, this is probably not the best choice you can make in Entertainment Centers. Clint Eastwood certainly doesn’t look happy about it. It will cost you $1,775. That money is better saved for real gas at the pump.

It used to be that when those loud ass birds assault your ears at the butt-crack of dawn, you’d have to get out the shotgun, take a shot through your window, and upon the sweet sound of silence, go back to sleep and save the glass cleanup till you get up at noon. Not anymore though. For one thing it’s not socially acceptable to kill small animals. Use the BirdXPeller Pro bird repeller instead.

It won’t kill all the birds. It just repels them by emitting different noises that make them believe a predator is near. It will scare off birds within one acre. Three different types of the BirdXPeller Pro frighten away different birds. $239.

Products that are designed to help you learn how to use the toilet are funny. Mostly because you should know how to use the toilet by now. Potty Monkey is awesome. This 15-inch tall stuffed monkey comes complete with a pair of diapers, a pair of underwear and his toilet. An electronic timer is buried somewhere in his rectum body and can be set at intervals of 30 or 90 minutes. When the clock runs out, the monkey will tell you he needs to go potty. When you place him on the toilet he won’t shut up about it. He’ll tell you how much better he feels, and will even sing a version of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, except his version is all about dukey and yule-logs. Don’t think you can just ignore him like a bad parent either.

If you do, he will just plead more. “I really need to go potty! Let’s go potty!!” Ignore him again, and he says, “Hey, take me to the potty now or I’ll have an accident!” After that, “Oh no! I had an accident! Please take me to the potty next time.” No…I will not take you to the potty. You are not my son. You are a bad monkey who somehow ended up in my home and feels free to crap himself at the drop of a hat.

When pimped out swarovski mp3 players and the like haven’t assaulted your senses quite enough and you feel like your life could be gaudier, you can always start bedazzling your kitchen. The Nespresso Crystal Edition coffee machine is smothered in 3100 Swarovski crystals and will only cost you about $4,000.

It will still make a mean cup of coffee and comes with a removable grill for macciato lattes, an illuminated collecting pan for your used coffee capsules, and it does it all with the single press of a big blingy button. A few more shiny gadgets like this in your kitchen and you will be blinded when the sun shines in.

When you have a nasty cold and are sneezing, the last thing you need is some joker mocking you. That’s exactly what this talking tissue box does. Instead of being neutral and silent while you cough and retch and sneeze, this little jackass mocks you by either coughing or sneezing each time you reach out for a tissue.

Cute? No F-in way. You’ll want to punch it in it’s face and wonder why you bought it for $19.99 in the first place. It takes 2 AA batteries to perform it’s feats of annoying.

Here’s a mug designed with a thin contour at the top that’s slightly curved to conform to your lips. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been consuming liquid beverages all my life and I haven’t found a need to buy myself a special cup due to unwanted spillage or slobbering all over myself.

But if you’re someone who can’t manage to drink your morning coffee without spilling it all over yourself, maybe this would help. A sippy cup is probably far more traditional, however. I would suggest that if you’re an adult and find yourself needing a special cup, then you probably need a special hemet as well.

Fear not humans, this thing did not just land on our planet and demand that we submit to anal probing. It’s a house designed by Jérôme Olivet, who learned from Philippe Starck. The Jet House is designed to look as if it’s moving fast, despite the fact that it’s molded concrete structure is attached to a metallic building pad.

It’s a two-story structure, the floors connected by an elevator. Olivet calls the style “biomorphic,” and the lines are so beautifully rounded and streamlined that it is very calming. The thing obviously cost a fortune to build. I not only want to live in it, but I want to attach some lasers see it fly through space.

Samsung has unveiled the “Luce” (SHS-5200), a digital door lock that measures just 2.1cm-thick and comes with an integrated touchscreen. The Luce is unique compared to existing door lock products due to it’s touch-sensitive interface.

It has special tempered glass, enabling users to enter numbers with their fingertips. The keypad isn’t displayed when Luce isn’t activated. When you press the start button, the numbers are displayed with a backlight. That way outsiders can’t get your password. No word yet on pricing or availability at this time.

Want a tattoo but can’t stand the idea of a ink filled needle jabbing you a million times? Well girlly-man, you can rest easy, because now you can just print designs out and have a temporary tattoo. Whether you want the “I’ve been to prison” look, or even if you are a young and loose female wanting a unique tramp-stamp to lure the man-meat, it’s now easy.

Just create your own tattoo design, then once it’s printed you just need to apply an adhesive sheet to the printout and smooth out any bubbles. When you remove the adhesive sheet, the printed tattoo will remain with a sticky surface allowing it to be applied to your skin with a wet sponge. They’re water-based and non-toxic. If you avoid bathing they will stay on you for about a week, otherwise they can easily be removed with soap and water.

Similar to Microsoft’s Surface, and straight out of flicks like Minority Report, the Sensisphere takes the interactive user interface to a whole new level. It’s sort of like using a crystal ball. Proof that technology is looking more and more like magic. Maybe more like a crystal disc than a ball, since the meter-wide sphere is attached to the wall.

You can use your hands to browse through and work with the multimedia-based content. Check out the video below to see how cool this thing is. I can’t wait to see this technology in about 10 years. The best part is that you get all the coolness of Minority Report, without Tom Cruise’s annoying pearly whites.

Toshiba’s Neoball-Z Real Pride bulbs do away with the corkscrew look, going back to the old bulb design. They are actually fluorescent lamps. But the most interesting news is that they claim to have a life span rated at 12,000 hours. That’s about 1.2 times better than the other products on the market, which is 12 times better than an incandescent bulb. The power consumption rates at 10 watts, which should be a big money saver.

You can get them in warm white, day white and daylight colors from July 1st onward. No word on price, which is really the main thing I would want to know. I’ve tried some of the corkscrew variety and didn’t seem to save any money at all, so I’d be willing to give these a shot.

Let’s see if I have this right. You pee on the stick same as usual… Then you plug it into your USB port like you let the potential daddy plug it into you… We really have to stop using the USB port for every damn thing people.

So when you plug it in you get all kinds of data about what’s in your urine, other then the fact that this is all highly unsanitory. Sure, any other home pregnancy test will let you know if you have a bun in the oven, but with this you can get fancy charts and graphs…from your pee. It will cost you $17.99 if it’s not a late April Fool’s joke.

It looks like a flashlight with a cord attached, but that would be silly wouldn’t it? Almost as silly as the microwave concept that it really is. It was designed by Martin Zampach, and this microwave is far from traditional.

If your one of those types whose diet consists entirely of hot dogs, sausages, sticks of bread and the like, it would probably work out well for you, despite the fact that your heart is about to burst. I’ll stick with the traditional microwave, just a little while longer.

Spring is finally upon us and that means that it’s time for some of you to begin murdering plants. Quite by accident of course. I know you would never do it on purpose. A self-watering planter like this one can help. It looks like a fairly typical plant holder, but inside it has a reservoir that stores water and is capable of watering the plants automatically.

The grow chamber draws water from the reservoir when it’s needed. The end result is that your plant lives and you are also not wasting water. You can get them in a variety of colors for $20. In the kit you’ll get soil, plant food and an instruction book. It’s still at your mercy in one sense. You do have to refill the reservoir from time to time.