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Swarovski-studded Nespresso coffee maker

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 6th, 2008

Swarovski-studded Nespresso coffee maker
When pimped out swarovski mp3 players and the like haven’t assaulted your senses quite enough and you feel like your life could be gaudier, you can always start bedazzling your kitchen. The Nespresso Crystal Edition coffee machine is smothered in 3100 Swarovski crystals and will only cost you about $4,000.

It will still make a mean cup of coffee and comes with a removable grill for macciato lattes, an illuminated collecting pan for your used coffee capsules, and it does it all with the single press of a big blingy button. A few more shiny gadgets like this in your kitchen and you will be blinded when the sun shines in.

Talking tissue box mocks you

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 6th, 2008

Talking tissue box mocks you
When you have a nasty cold and are sneezing, the last thing you need is some joker mocking you. That’s exactly what this talking tissue box does. Instead of being neutral and silent while you cough and retch and sneeze, this little jackass mocks you by either coughing or sneezing each time you reach out for a tissue.

Cute? No F-in way. You’ll want to punch it in it’s face and wonder why you bought it for $19.99 in the first place. It takes 2 AA batteries to perform it’s feats of annoying.

Ergonomic coffee mug fits your lips

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 5th, 2008

Ergonomic coffee mug fits your lips
Here’s a mug designed with a thin contour at the top that’s slightly curved to conform to your lips. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been consuming liquid beverages all my life and I haven’t found a need to buy myself a special cup due to unwanted spillage or slobbering all over myself.

But if you’re someone who can’t manage to drink your morning coffee without spilling it all over yourself, maybe this would help. A sippy cup is probably far more traditional, however. I would suggest that if you’re an adult and find yourself needing a special cup, then you probably need a special hemet as well.

Jet House is awesome, looks fast

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 4th, 2008

Jet House is awesome, looks fast
Fear not humans, this thing did not just land on our planet and demand that we submit to anal probing. It’s a house designed by Jérôme Olivet, who learned from Philippe Starck. The Jet House is designed to look as if it’s moving fast, despite the fact that it’s molded concrete structure is attached to a metallic building pad.

It’s a two-story structure, the floors connected by an elevator. Olivet calls the style “biomorphic,” and the lines are so beautifully rounded and streamlined that it is very calming. The thing obviously cost a fortune to build. I not only want to live in it, but I want to attach some lasers see it fly through space.

Samsung’s touchscreen digital door lock

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 4th, 2008

Samsung’s touchscreen digital door lock
Samsung has unveiled the “Luce” (SHS-5200), a digital door lock that measures just 2.1cm-thick and comes with an integrated touchscreen. The Luce is unique compared to existing door lock products due to it’s touch-sensitive interface.

It has special tempered glass, enabling users to enter numbers with their fingertips. The keypad isn’t displayed when Luce isn’t activated. When you press the start button, the numbers are displayed with a backlight. That way outsiders can’t get your password. No word yet on pricing or availability at this time.

Inkjet tattoo paper makes you look tough, no pain

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 4th, 2008

Inkjet Tattoo paper makes you look tough, no pain
Want a tattoo but can’t stand the idea of a ink filled needle jabbing you a million times? Well girlly-man, you can rest easy, because now you can just print designs out and have a temporary tattoo. Whether you want the “I’ve been to prison” look, or even if you are a young and loose female wanting a unique tramp-stamp to lure the man-meat, it’s now easy.

Just create your own tattoo design, then once it’s printed you just need to apply an adhesive sheet to the printout and smooth out any bubbles. When you remove the adhesive sheet, the printed tattoo will remain with a sticky surface allowing it to be applied to your skin with a wet sponge. They’re water-based and non-toxic. If you avoid bathing they will stay on you for about a week, otherwise they can easily be removed with soap and water.

Browse your CD collection with the Sensisphere

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 3rd, 2008

Browse your CD collection with the Sensisphere
Similar to Microsoft’s Surface, and straight out of flicks like Minority Report, the Sensisphere takes the interactive user interface to a whole new level. It’s sort of like using a crystal ball. Proof that technology is looking more and more like magic. Maybe more like a crystal disc than a ball, since the meter-wide sphere is attached to the wall.

You can use your hands to browse through and work with the multimedia-based content. Check out the video below to see how cool this thing is. I can’t wait to see this technology in about 10 years. The best part is that you get all the coolness of Minority Report, without Tom Cruise’s annoying pearly whites.

Toshiba’s new bulbs boast 12,000 hour life

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 3rd, 2008

Toshiba’s new bulbs boast 12,000 hour life
Toshiba’s Neoball-Z Real Pride bulbs do away with the corkscrew look, going back to the old bulb design. They are actually fluorescent lamps. But the most interesting news is that they claim to have a life span rated at 12,000 hours. That’s about 1.2 times better than the other products on the market, which is 12 times better than an incandescent bulb. The power consumption rates at 10 watts, which should be a big money saver.

You can get them in warm white, day white and daylight colors from July 1st onward. No word on price, which is really the main thing I would want to know. I’ve tried some of the corkscrew variety and didn’t seem to save any money at all, so I’d be willing to give these a shot.

The USB home pregnancy test

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 3rd, 2008

USB home pregnancy test
Let’s see if I have this right. You pee on the stick same as usual… Then you plug it into your USB port like you let the potential daddy plug it into you… We really have to stop using the USB port for every damn thing people.

So when you plug it in you get all kinds of data about what’s in your urine, other then the fact that this is all highly unsanitory. Sure, any other home pregnancy test will let you know if you have a bun in the oven, but with this you can get fancy charts and graphs…from your pee. It will cost you $17.99 if it’s not a late April Fool’s joke.

Bagetty microwave for the hot dog, baguette obsessed

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 3rd, 2008

Bagetty microwave for the hot dogs, baguette obsessed
It looks like a flashlight with a cord attached, but that would be silly wouldn’t it? Almost as silly as the microwave concept that it really is. It was designed by Martin Zampach, and this microwave is far from traditional.

If your one of those types whose diet consists entirely of hot dogs, sausages, sticks of bread and the like, it would probably work out well for you, despite the fact that your heart is about to burst. I’ll stick with the traditional microwave, just a little while longer.

Grobal self-watering planters keep plants alive

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 2nd, 2008

Grobal self-watering planters keep plants alive
Spring is finally upon us and that means that it’s time for some of you to begin murdering plants. Quite by accident of course. I know you would never do it on purpose. A self-watering planter like this one can help. It looks like a fairly typical plant holder, but inside it has a reservoir that stores water and is capable of watering the plants automatically.

The grow chamber draws water from the reservoir when it’s needed. The end result is that your plant lives and you are also not wasting water. You can get them in a variety of colors for $20. In the kit you’ll get soil, plant food and an instruction book. It’s still at your mercy in one sense. You do have to refill the reservoir from time to time.

The Defendius door chain maze

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 2nd, 2008

The Defendius door chain maze
Some of us like to take the simplest things and make them complicated. Like this door chain for instance. This thing will make it beyond complicated to get the door open, keeping others out and keeping you in…forever!

The Defendius was created by mad genius Art Lebedev. I understand the concept and it’s a good one, but maybe a medium sized maze would have been best. Something between the original and this crazy labyrinth. Still, I guess if there are people you really don’t want to see, you can always blame the Defendius. And when they find your corpse after two weeks, half eaten by your cats, they will know the Defendius was installed.

The Zuse toaster makes toast fun

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on April 2nd, 2008

The Zuse toaster makes toast fun
I’m not sure how fun toast is capable of being, but certainly it’s got to get better then pushing the lever and waiting for it to pop. The Zuse toaster works like a dot matrix printer for toast and will burn 12 x 12 pixel images onto your bread. It can be programmed for random patterns or you can use your own designs if you like.

It’s probably the first truly interactive toast and your mornings no longer have to be boring. Unfortunately, this is still in its concept stages. No doubt the designer is greedy and keeping all the fun for himself. But one day soon our toast will get an upgrade. Until then, toast will be as boring as it ever was.

Rechargeable outdoor candles

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on March 31st, 2008

Rechargeable outdoor candles
These somewhat realistic looking outdoor candles are made from silicone and use an LED light bulb to simulate the natural flickering effect of an actual flame.

There are actually a few benefits to using fake candles. They are safer, you won’t get that nasty smell when you blow them out, and you can still set a nice romantic mood while at the same time impressing her with tech. And who knows where that will lead. On a full charge the fake candles can last for about 12 hours. You can get a set of 4 with charger for $89.95.

Control your sprinklers from anywhere

Posted in Home by Conner Flynn on March 31st, 2008

Control your sprinklers from anywhere
If you don’t want to go through the trouble of actually walking outside and turning your sprinklers on, you might enjoy this Remote Rain Water Control. Maybe you don’t like exercise. Who’s judging you?

All you have to do is hook this little gadget up to your water line and attach the hose. Then just keep the remote somewhere handy(Like that’s gonna happen.) and press the button when you want to turn the water on or off. You could also watch at your window and when the next trespasser walks through your yard, give him or her a good soak. That would be fun enough to justify the $69.99 price.