Maybe you have a nerdy grandmother who loves gadgets. This would be the perfect gift from a loving grandson. Or perhaps your grandmother is addicted to online games and complains of a chill between kills. Again, this is the perfect gift. Could also be that you rarely pay attention to your grandmother and are using the computer area as a sort of rest home, hooking her up to all kinds of USB gadgets.

Yeah, I’m just not seeing how you can go wrong buying this for that special elder in your life. It even has a button to hold it in place around the shoulders while you work or play bingo, count pills and the like. Only $29.

Want your girlfriend’s boobs to look like a luminous butterfly from a drug commercial? So does French design house Lumigram. Meet the Lumitop bra. It will illicit responses like “I’m up here!” as it seems to hypnotize you not with what lay behind it for once, but with it’s bright luminescent shine. Because there’s nothing sexier then a futuristic, luminescent babe right?

The bras are part of Lumigram’s new collection – light for style. It’s powered by 1.5V replaceable batteries, which will cause boob-shine for more than 12 hours and sports a small on/off switch. Current pricing is from 100 to 170 Euros. If I may, in my current state of euphoria, paraphrase from a Neil Diamond song. “Turn on your bra-light. Let it shine wherever you go. Let it make a happy glow, for all the world to see…”

We’ve seen our share of solar powered devices, but nothing so hideous and blatantly dorky as the solar powered necktie. It will not only collect solar power, but it also singles you out as a geek. You can thank a group of braniacs at Iowa State University for creating it. It’s made from newly developed solar fabrics. The solar panels are tiny and laid out in a grid that at least makes it look somewhat like any other tacky tie.

It even sports a pocket sewn into the back so your device can suck precious juice like a parasite that no one can see. This technology can only end with a living symbiote tie that strangles you dead, thereby making it look like you’ve committed suicide. Then they’ll take over the world. No one will know. It will just seem like unusually high suicides. Let’s just stop wearing them now, can we? They’re silly.

Is that Metroid in your cartridge slot or are you just happy to see me? For once it’s not a scaled down NES that fits into a thimble. The NES belt buckle is all about combining geek style with the theory that bigger is better.

It will definitely get you noticed, while protecting your crotch from Ninjas at the same time. Actually, I don’t think it’s a belt buckle at all after watching the below video. I think this guy put a hole in back and stuck his lightgun in if you know what I mean.

Here’s something you don’t see everyday. It’s a replica of Scott Summers’ visor from ThinkGeek and it’s “authentically duplicated from the actual 20th Century Fox filming prop.” The cool part is that they double as shades with an iridium sunglass lens.

However if you feel that you need to wear this so as not to blast those around you with your powerful eye beams, you may in fact be the real cyclops and should go look for Professor X immediately. It’s available from Thinkgeek for $74.99 and comes with an all metal display box. Soon, you’ll be competing with Wolverine for Jean Grey’s affection.

In the days of sailing the open seas, walking the plank, and sanding your peg-leg by hand, it was all the rage to have a bird on your shoulder. These days it’s frowned upon for some reason. That’s where the Birdcage backpack comes in.

You and your feathered friend can journey through the world together once again and leave a trail of bird droppings smell everywhere you go, while he makes snide comments. And if you have a hook hand and peg-leg it really makes a statement.

What am I always saying? If you want a geek’s money, brand it Star Wars and put it in a bubble on a card. Geek money is now your money. The Adidas Superstar X Star Wars shoes come in black or white, black being much cooler since they are accented to look like Vader’s helmet.

They are a very limited edition and probably gone already. They did a great packaging job since this is gonna remind every geek of the action figure packaging. I’m sure many will buy these just to keep them in the package and take up more space in their mother’s house.

I can’t think of anything better or more creepy then this mask for your next Halloween. If I saw this face ask me for candy I’d slam the door shut and look around for Hellboy. Also great for those into bondage and S&M. It’s based on a real Soviet era mask and made from leather and brass. Pretty good work of art. I doubt very much that it still functions as an actual gas mask. It will however instill fear into all those who see it. So, basically if you own this you can’t help but become a bad guy and take over the world.

Stylish and perfect for any July 4th celebration. Walk into any BBQ wearing this baby and they know you’re all about getting plastered. After a few burgers and hot dogs of course.

It’s like you’re saying that there’s really no reason to hide your love of spirits any longer. And those around you will know that they’ll be cleaning up your vomit later. No need to risk your pants falling down when you go for a drink either since the whiskey bottle is removable. No doubt there will be other reasons your pants will fall to your ankles. It’s available for $19.50. Make the most of it, they won’t be inviting you again.

I think there are two things in this universe that you can safely say that geeks love. Atari 2600 and Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Being a geek myself who loves both, this is exactly how I would have made the movie.

With a large Atari joystick as the monolith. This T-shirt is the work of Akron, Ohio illustrator psychoreindeer. Let’s face it, if an ancient civilization is going to search for intelligent life, it’s going to test you on your Atari skills.

So on the rare occasions when you venture out and get away from your mom’s attic, how do you geeks recognize each other? I’m guessing that one big giveaway would be this animated T-Shirt that plays old school Pong. It’s battery powered and it plays pong right on your chest.

Just make sure that you remove the battery before washing! Venture forth my geek friend and as you journey out into the world, you and your shirt will collect fellow nerds as if you were the Pied piper of Pong.

Check out these awesome T-shirts from errorwear. They have a pretty nice assortment of OS and system errors T-shirts, including some from Windows NT4, Windows 2K/XP, Windows 95/98, XBox 360, Sad Mac, Broken image, 404 error Apache server, 404 ISS server, Not Responding and more.

The Blue Screen Of Death T-Shirt actually looks pretty awesome, um, filled out like that. That’s an error I don’t mind at all. Be sure to also look into the Pac-Man 256 level screen T-shirt. Good stuff.

Looks like we now have the blogging equivalent of the Brassiere. A new geek bra, or man-siere if you will. This device is perfect for highly caffeinated bloggers and those who just can’t get away from their laptop. Blog while grocery shopping, check out some porn while walking home, even live-blog in a DMV line.

Connect-A-Desk makes it all possible while likely giving you some kind of long term back and neck problem. The connect-A holder is compatible with any size laptop, notebook, or tablet computer and features fully adjustable straps.

Usually, you dance to the music. With this suit, you dance to create the music. Whether shaking your groove thing or gettin jiggy with it, you become a human musical instrument. It’s a concept that measures the electrical impulses of your muscles and converts that info into music or sound effects.

The suit can do it all by itself, with it’s amplifiers and speakers, but it’s also capable of doing so wirelessly by using infrared and a control console. With the console, the user can manipulate the sounds and arrange them alone or with sounds from others. Mostly, the Pacer Suit will just make you look like an extra from the Cantina scene in Star Wars.

Personally, there’s only one piece of hardware I want riding down below, but unfortunately hardware in your undies may become the norm one day. All I ask is that they leave room for the main package I’m hauling and that they’re comfortable. For some unknown reason, Philips is looking to create a pair that monitors your blood pressure.

A recent patent application from the firm shows off a “wearable” system, but they do point out that “it is particularly suitable for implementation in a continuously wearable undergarment with integrated measuring sensors or electrodes, so as to be directly in contact with the subject’s skin.” You know, I’m not too sure about all of this. I mean, don’t outfit our drawers with something that’s going to stunt our growth. (Insert George Costanza “shrinkage” joke here)