Personally, there’s only one piece of hardware I want riding down below, but unfortunately hardware in your undies may become the norm one day. All I ask is that they leave room for the main package I’m hauling and that they’re comfortable. For some unknown reason, Philips is looking to create a pair that monitors your blood pressure.

A recent patent application from the firm shows off a “wearable” system, but they do point out that “it is particularly suitable for implementation in a continuously wearable undergarment with integrated measuring sensors or electrodes, so as to be directly in contact with the subject’s skin.” You know, I’m not too sure about all of this. I mean, don’t outfit our drawers with something that’s going to stunt our growth. (Insert George Costanza “shrinkage” joke here)

Here’s the latest wacky concept from Japan. A solar-powered bra that’s eco-friendly. Forget the fact that it looks like someone glued a display onto a piece of astroturf. The solar panel on the waist powers a scrolling LED display above, so you can display a message, about how dorky you look. It can also power other devices.

Here’s the really strange bit. It has reusable liquid containers in the cups, because they want to discourage the use of aluminum cans. The upshot is that you would increase your bust size…Until you get thirsty.

This very unhip looking bulletproof vest is actually a BUILT Laptop Backpack. Made of the lightweight neoprene and breathable air mesh, the backpack features water and stain resistance. People have been carrying their babies in this way for years, so why not your precious laptop. Sure, it’s not the most stylish thing, but you’ll kinda look like a cop with a bullet proof vest.

With this backpack you’ll be able to carry your 12″-17″ laptop, plus textbooks. You’ll also have some smaller compartments for storing peripherals and accessories. It’s available now in two sizes to fit most people. Medium and large for $80 each.

Myself, I don’t feel the need to spend more than about $35 on a pair of shoes. However, if you are into cutting edge sneakers and the whole tech/foot experience, maybe a pair of VectraSense Technologies’ new $700 Verb for Shoes will get you excited about putting these in the closet.

For the $700 price tag, you will have shoes worthy of the Bionic Man himself. They feature an embedded computer with “Auto Comfort”, which means that they automatically adjust to the wearer’s feet, becoming firmer or more cushioned based on movement. They also feature “Contact Sharing,” which allows them to trade information with other smart shoes in the area.(Hey, what up? You stink as bad as I do? Damn this fool got nasty feet!) Through a wireless link, users can even sync information between their shoes and a PC. At $700, they better put themselves away when you remove them too.

If you’re the type who eats Chinese food regularly, you no doubt have your own chopsticks. But where does one put them? How do you carry them around? Now they’ll be handy wherever you go. They will be stowed in your glasses.

Never be without chopsticks again. Just pull them out and start eating. You can also use them to hold your hair back, but if you do both it’s going to get messy. I suppose they are also handy as weapons should you need them. Even a stylus.

These sneakers are fully functional hot spot finders. As you walk around town, an integrated display will let you know what the signal strength is on hot spots around you. The wearable Wi-Fi sneakers are named A Step in the Right Direction and were designed by mstrpln and Ubiq boutique.

The ASRD sneaker has an integrated wireless internet detection unit embedded under the flap of the left shoe. When the pressure sensitive insole is activated, the device scans the surrounding area for Wi-Fi signals and displays the result through LEDs so you can see it. Sure, geeks are going to love these, but aren’t there more convenient ways to find hot spots? Better yet, instead of trying to find hot spots with your shoes, maybe you should be trying to score with the ladies, Poindexter.

This shirt is cool as far as temperature goes, not cool as far as looks. Unless you’re into a sort of old mattress look. It’s a t-shirt with a water cooling system to keep you from overheating. It’s got an inlet and an outlet on the fifty feet of rubber hose that connect to a pump.

The water circulates and you get to sit in the summer heat without needing air conditioning. It was actually designed to be used by race car drivers. No word on price, but it’s probably pretty expensive. You could probably make your own and actually give it some style. Even the still-suits in Dune had more style then this shirt, plus you could drink your own fluids.

Amanda Parkes’ dress will get a woman a ton of unwanted attention from geeks and nerds. That’s because it generates power when the wearer moves, using kinetic energy as a result of natural movements of the human body. Piezoelectric material around the joint areas, like the elbows and hips of the garment generate power in response to the mechanical stress. Electricity will be stored as voltage in a tiny centralized battery.

As far as style, it leaves something to be desired. Unless you’re auditioning for the latest Star Trek maybe. If an alien abducted you, I’m not sure if they would be impressed by this garment or just end our misery with a giant death ray.

Now this is truly clothing of the future. Lunar Design wants the world to look like what the 21st century should have looked like years ago. More specifically, they want to turn you into a walking billboard. The Blu Jacket is a concept that uses flexible organic e-paper. It will show passersby your mood, subway maps, or can even play video advertisements. It’s all very Blade Runner and makes women look ten times hotter to geeks.

Of course, if this jacket were to be made anytime soon, it would cost a fortune. On the other hand, it could generate ad revenue. Maybe we’ll see Google getting into clothing and makiing even more money. Between advertisements and the ability to use your jacket as a search engine, I’m thinking they are already salivating.

You know, I’m kind of at a loss for words regarding this one. I personally would never wear these pants which feature a built-in keyboard, mouse and speakers. For one thing, depending on what you are typing, it might look like you are enjoying yourself way too much if you know what I mean.

Some geek decided that he was tired of carrying around a keyboard and mouse, so he stitched them into a pair of pants, and even threw in a pair of speakers. I don’t know how they transmit to your PC, or where the batteries are. All I know is that they can not be comfortable. Crotch typing is not a sport I’d like to practice.

They have vending machines for everything else, so why not one for shoes. The shoe vending machine is located in London’s Carnaby Street and carries 24 pairs of running shoes in six different sizes. This is a great idea.

Maybe you just walked in a huge puddle and your shoes are soaked. It’s a great way to get a quick replacement pair. It should be a hit with tourists as well. How many women do you know who endure miles of pain because their stylish shoes are not comfortable? This machine could spell relief. Maybe you have a flat on your Walking Bike. It’s an easy fix with this machine.

These gameboy boots certainly make a fashion statement. Something about how everything you love dies. Like Disco and Nintendo’s handheld, for instance. So why not combine the two in a space age Disco look and hit the dance floor?

These boots were designed by Helen Red Richards back in 2001 for a Nintendo campaign. Apparently the Japanese love them and wear them all the time. And why not? Nothing wrong with looking like a space cowboy. Plus, you’ll always have a pair of Gameboys handy for you and a friend.

For those who want to stay dry on a rainy day and at the same time look like an idiot, I present to you the UFO Cap. It’s sort of like a hat/upper body hoop skirt type condom…Flying Nun thing. It probably works really well, but I’m sure it also makes people shout, “Hey condom head”.

And that packaging doesn’t exactly sell me on the idea of using it in my daily life. I mean what’s with the two little unused condom looking critters in the lower right? Are they gonna hump? That’s just wrong.

Here’s another thing that we were promised in the then “future”. Shoes with headlights. These funky looking Pioneer shoes are from designers Feijun Chen & Bin Zhao. Not only will they illuminate your path, but the batteries are charged by the kinetic energy of your steps. The LEDs are bright enough to light up an area about five feet in front of you, so you can make like a spirit and perpetually head toward said light.

There’s also a green tail light in back. Great idea for safety reasons alone. For one thing cars will see you clearly and thus avoid killing you, for another it might help you avoid obstacles in your path that might otherwise plant your face in the dirt.

Why buy a run of the mill T-shirt with a pre-printed message that someone else wrote, when you can display your own message? The T-sketch t-shirt allows you to do just that. It displays personalized messages in a cool way. Whatever you write or draw on the chest display will turn into an illuminated message or design. You know, stuff like, “Look at my new geek shirt”, or “Blog writers need love too.” Even pass coded messages between friends. When shopping, display “This store sucks!”

Anything that you draw on the wipe-clean panel activates a glowing light beneath so that it lights up. If you want, you can change the flashing sequence to suit your needs, from a gentle glow, to a pulsing strobe light.