Everyone knows that despite being slow, turtles are master masseuses. You just have to book your appointment in advance since they take their time. Brando’s USB Tortoise Massager sure looks like it would be relaxing. He’s basically a vibrating turtle with a USB connection that should sooth your tense muscles with his legs.

It’s powered by a pair of AA batteries, not by USB. God forbid he put some power into the massage. How much money would you expect to “shell” out for such a massager? Well thankfully the price matches this little guys power at only $10.

Why not? Rub a fake animal on yourself to relax. Because when you use a real one PETA gets mad.

[CG]