The Last Call iPhone app tells you how drunk you are, because you are probably way too far gone to judge for yourself. It determines this using your weight and how many drinks you’ve had already. It also calculates your drunkenness by what type of alcoholic beverages you’ve consumed, and it will even offer advice on what to do next now that you’re three sheets to the wind.
If you’re too blitzed to drive, you can press a button and it will call a taxi for you. Best of all, it’s free, which means more booze money. Now all you need is an app that shows how much of your liver is still healthy and calculates how much more drinking you can do until your final days.