The condom dispenser moves the prophylactic party from the drawer to a bedside table top. It’s not for everyone, after all some get luckier then others. In fact, what works for this item also works against it. Sure, it’s great to have a condom dispenser nearby since you get so much sex that you lay in bed all day,(Uh…sure you do.) but chances are that if you actually have a woman in your life, this is wayyy to tacky a decoration to meet with her approval.

But if you have a special kind of gal with vision… One that sees the form and function of the condom dispenser as a great blending of mid-century modern with a blend of trailer park skank, then here are the measurements: 9″ H x 3.5″ W x 4″ D, made of aluminum and plastic, and it can hold up to 24 packs of condoms. Only $28.

[Uncrate]