We’ve seen our share of solar powered devices, but nothing so hideous and blatantly dorky as the solar powered necktie. It will not only collect solar power, but it also singles you out as a geek. You can thank a group of braniacs at Iowa State University for creating it. It’s made from newly developed solar fabrics. The solar panels are tiny and laid out in a grid that at least makes it look somewhat like any other tacky tie.
It even sports a pocket sewn into the back so your device can suck precious juice like a parasite that no one can see. This technology can only end with a living symbiote tie that strangles you dead, thereby making it look like you’ve committed suicide. Then they’ll take over the world. No one will know. It will just seem like unusually high suicides. Let’s just stop wearing them now, can we? They’re silly.